Are Male Spankiees Less of a Man?

I agree this has been interesting and has strayed a lot from the OP's question. Please end the bickering.
My own view is that male spankees are no less of a man than others. That is one of several stereotypes we have to counter, just as with the topic of wearing frillies during a session... That in itself would be an interesting theme to explore in the Forum.
Certainly their are exceptions to this but it is like too many other generalities.
Side note: My wife didn't find me any less of a man with either, (nor with related kinks), and I seriously doubt I'm alone in that respect.

Thanks to one and all. I enjoyed reading each post. RK

As a lifelong spanko male (a very shy closet spanko) I can only say that my enjoyment of being spanked has made me wonder if I have more estrogen in my system than testosterone. But my fascination with the topic of spanking is not just for F/M but also for M/F and some F/F (although that is like girl-on-girl porn - it's less interesting if I can't put myself in the place of one of the players.) I'm not looking for pain, just fun.

The fact that I am kinky does make me "less of a man" in a certain respect. Because I am afflicted by the spanking fetish, conventional sexual activity does not excite me. So I am not good at conventional love-making. Virility is not my forté.

For the most part I can only get an erection when engaged in spanking-related fantasies. And when I am with my wife in bed the "real action" distracts me from the fantasy department - so I am unable to get an erection when I am trying to satisfy my wife (who is a vanilla).

So - my wife, because she married a spanko, she does not get so much of "it" from me, her husband!

Sigh!

Thank you Galt54. A very helpful post.

My fantasy life is dominated by spanking (literally) and so conventional sex feels trickier as I get older. Talking to a variety of friends though, sex drive seems to vary increasingly as we have all got older with quite a few now celibate at my age, and they are mostly married friends! So I don't think of sexual performance or capability as part of my definition of being a man. I am sure I did think that when I was younger.

I am on the brink of a renewing a relationship with my first love after a break of 37 years (another lock down rekindling) and we have talked about expectations. Her emphasis has been on the emotional and intellectual stimulation rather than the physical. Her subjective definition of a man is a balanced individual who is in touch with both his "feminine" side as well as his "masculine". A veritable swamp of words that I won't try to define.

I have talked to her about my spanking life which was a sensitive subject as she revealed she had been on the receiving end of some non consensual spanking in one relationship. The good news for me is that, despite her being vanilla in most respects, she said she did not think any less of me for being a male bisexual spankee. Of course, she pondered what might have been the clues from my past that spark this need but she has not questioned whether I am a man or manly or masculine or any other word beginning with m.

I have also found this thread interesting, mainly because it is all so subjective. Perhaps the data will be available one day for some objective analysis. Until then, we are left with our opinions or, more truthfully if we are honest, the recycled opinions of others.

I've seen quite a few studies trying to link biological and/or developmental conditions to various kinks.

I have yet to see one that correlated estrogen levels with the desire to be spanked.

I've known men who ran major businesses, law firms, agencies, and universities who would command all day and then submit to a slight but strict, severe young woman who would discipline them and make them serve her in the kinkiest ways you might imagine. It always seems like a way for them to decompress and probably satisfy some long-held fantasies. I don't think this makes them less manly. I know couples where the wife dominates all conversation and get-togethers. Despite reaching a quick conclusion that she is in charge in the bedroom, that may well not be the case. People engage in strange relationships and then there are switches like I am. As a switch who is mostly dominant I have been with both men and women. I only submit to women and only occasionally. I've found men range across the spectrum. We often find after someone has passed away that they were in their private life quite different from how they were perceived in life.

Ah, that was kind of what happened with me and my 2nd wife. Though we had maintained our friendship for over 30 years.
As for both my masculine and feminine sides, (as well as other kinks), she saw no problem once we had discussed my staying in touch with the feminine side, (and spanking), nor did it interfere at all with our sexual relationship. Truth is, it seemed to deepen it.

I wonder if ultra-traditionalists would consider someone to be "less of a man" who had the following traits: living with their mother until their thirties, never having a wife, family, or even a girlfriend, very likely being a virgin their entire life, never really achieving financial success despite being born of a very powerful father, not fighting back if attacked physically but rather just letting their antagonist continue to hit them? Certainly the antithesis of a "John Wayne type" alpha. Would they find this guy utterly pathetic as a representative of the male gender?

There were some interesting points made and a couple I would like to add:

1: definitions of what the OP meant: a very valid point and one that several people, including myself, tried to address. It would be pretty pointless to argue over terms for which each person has a different understanding. As far as i can tell, there has not yet been an agreed-upon criteria for the OP's question. So......unless we get one, there is little to do but just give opinions.

2: words: words have meanings and connotations. Language is a fluid and evolving thing as are societal mores, but language is also not a free-for-all. Adjectives like "manly" or "masculine" have associations that wishful thinking does not change.

3: "Being a man": I tried to define this with my own beliefs......but that went nowhere. The state of "being a man" to me is very different than deciding whether someone fits the adjective of "manly". (Another point that seems to have gone nowhere.)

4: "stopping the bickering": To a third party this always seems like the ideal solution to conflict. And in some ways it is very practical, but it doesn't take two things into account......accuracy & fairness. If someone misinterprets what you say, and actually threatens you, and despite trying to explain you continue to be threatened, is it really fair to say "just don't argue anymore"? If someone attacked you or a loved one physically and you fought back, and a third party walked by and seeing the fight told you to just stop......as if you were just as at fault.....how inclined would you be to let the attack go?

Lastly......5: Anecdotes are not arguments: If the question is, "are lemons bitter?" one person saying "I like lemons" and another saying, "I hate lemons" does nothing to answer the question.

No male spankees are not less of a man at all. It's just a bit of fun with the wife and another preference.