Gibbering Wreck!

This summer when I was in the UK I was fortunate enough to see the Famous Glasgow Rangers in action. Now I know the difference between soccer and football.

Jeez, now you throw Rugby into the mix!

If you really want to see Glasgow Rangers in action, say something like, "The Pope's a jolly good chap!"

Sorry Februs! Only a wee joke. And I admit it I was always too much of a wimp to ever enjoy rugby. The trouble was I was never sensible enough to run away from the ball so I would get flattened by some hulking ruffian with shoulders the size of a barn door.

I remember 1966. Football will always be the beautiful game for me, although I must tell you about my deprived childhood. My father regularly took me to see Torquay United play from the age of about five! It was terrible but some deeply rooted masochistic part of my nature took a strange delight in all that human misery! It is terrible what we inflict on our children! If he had cared he could have taken me to the Nou Camp rather than Plainmoor!

Mmm ... wonder if I could take up rugby!

I haven't played since school Linda, but if you would like some pointers.......

I think she might like to be tackled, specially if you're a hulking ruffian

I hate to disappoint you Linda. I was talking about a ruffianly girl with shoulders the size of a barn door! We used to play the local girls grammar school once every year! My goodness they were big lasses!

I'm coming in late, but I wanted to comment on the original thread point. Overuse of onamatopiac (sp?) words is just bad writing. You want to paint a word picture and this does nothing. Instead, focus on what your characters think, see or feel. If you are writing in third person omniscient you can write about each observer's impressions. What is the spanker/spankee thinking or feeling? What do the observers see? You can even invent an observer--"a fly on the wall would have seen Linda squealing and writhing over Evan's knee while he...'" etc. In this way you can milk the scene if it is the major climax of the story.

As to this whole deal about football, it is played by guys in helmets and pads who pass, run, block and tackle and have names like Peyton, Eli and LaDanian. That other game is called soccer.

Perhaps it would be less bothersome if you read one 'spank' louder than the others?

I was going to comment that I thought Redskins fans were weird. But I think I will switch to: Brave Rollin!