Comment Limit (Digressions)

Here is a Modest Proposal:

I know of a perfect solution to the seat up/seat down dilemma: men should pee in the sink. Since neither gender sits there, (because THAT would be disgusting!), there is no seat to leave up/down. And there is an added advantage: since many sinks are wider at the mouth than typical toilets, the man wouldn't have to worry as much about his aim, even in a semi-drunken or sleepy state; So the chances are greater that he will hit the target. Plus, the man will have "one-stop shopping" in that he will be able to wash his hands after peeing - which many men seem to think is optional, if their behavior in public bathrooms is any indication - right in the same spot. The result is the woman then has the toilet mostly to herself, and the seat will always be down. (Since the only other thing the man does with the toilet is also done with the seat down). One could even glue or nail the seat down, since it would have no purpose being up, ever.

I do not know why no one has adopted my idea. It's possible the toilet seat-makers (or maybe the plumbers' union) have conspired to keep this idea from gaining the public's attention, since it would reduce the toilet's usage by about 40%, thereby making existing toilets last longer, reducing the need for the manufacturing of new toilets, as well as the need for repair of the old ones. (Though one would think the SINK makers would be in favor of my idea, for the exact opposite reason).

So this is an idea both men and women can get behind. And to a lesser extent, get their behinds on.

(This idea has been brought to you by the Jonathan Swift school of writing).

Please don't take this the wrong way, Smeple, but you idea is disgusting. Just as men spatter over the side of the toilet rim and onto the floor, your method would have them spattering on the towels, the soap and the mirror. Yuck!
IC

IC, your chain is being pulled. The clue above: Jonathan Swift. Google "A Modest Proposal".

I won't take it the wrong way, since - if I really was being serious - the idea WOULD be disgusting. But as rollin has figured out, I was trying to write a satirical post about a common issue. I had a feeling that not everyone would see the intended humor, which is why I gave the references to Jonathan Swift and a "A Modest Proposal." So, yes, I was pulling everyone's (toilet bowl) chain.

So it was all just a joke and now I have to go back to lifting the toilet seat again?

That's disgusting.

Guy

Now if people don't quit talking about toilet seats, my wife is going to think that toilets come with seats. I have always removed them before installing them, I have told her that to get a seat costs a lot of money and we can't afford such a thing.

Come on guys, you know you are all jealous of how I have handled this over the years, but please don't tell my wife or else my ass is grass, as the saying goes!

CS

A few years back I had a 19 year old girl tell me that she never sat on the toilet seat, she always squatted. If all you women did that it would solve the problem.

I hope she squatted OVER THE COMMODE!!!

She never went into detail but I assume she meant that she raised the seat and squatted over the toilet bowl.