What's your favourite implement?

My favorite is something not yet mentioned in the so far eighty posts, the rubber hose. Strange but with me has a history. The parochial school I attended was also the school my father attended and in his time the principal kept a rubber hose in his desk for use on the older boys when necessary. I always wondered about that and one day many years ago I took a car in for brake repairs and the mechanic left a length of brake hose --about eighteen inches-- on the floor. So . . . I thought it time to find out and my wife was more than happy to use it on my bared butt. We discovered it is very, very effective and very, very quiet. With young children and in an apartment it was a welcome answer to the problem of noise [except for yelps]. And it leaves nice thin parallel purple traces visible the next day or two. You can take it on the road to motels as well since it attracts no attention and takes no space. This is the black hose you remember that attached your high school lab Bunsen burner to the gas jet: very soft and pliable and strong. I did put a few inches of dowel into one end to act as a firm grip handle. In some older crime novels the cops in American cities used the rubber hose on juveniles down at the station. Having experienced it I can see why that old principal used it. Very quiet, very effective, easily stored away, inexpensive. Highly recommended! And I have always wondered about that mechanic and whether he left "samples" in other vehicles he repaired.

My dad who had grown up in rough times around some rough people took a piece of heater hose from a car, filled one end with a few inches of lead, and taped the whole thing where it was still flexible, but would hold it's shape when held. It was kept under his car seat for self defense if needed, fortunately it was never needed, a blow to the head from that thing could kill. He said it was a common implement in his young days.

*Long time reader, first time poster*

Favorite? Well that is tough. I have to admit there are differences in giving or getting being a switch. Over the years, I have obtained several authentic tawses. The marks from them are amazing, and used properly the welts they leave are amazing.

I also have a very old heavy weight french martinet that is to be quite feared