What's your favourite implement?

Love the progression of faces!

Forgive the corny old joke:

Do you smoke after sex?
I don't know - I've never looked.

I like to spank with my trusty right hand and then with a small wooden paddle that stings but does not bruise.

Well, that was one of the nicest presents I've gotten in a while...

Oh dear, and I who was only asking out of concern for your well-being and possibilities of sitting in front of the PC to carry this silly conversation on...

That unfortunate experiment was like fifteen years ago, so I'm fine now And it was my own dumbass idea to begin with, so I have only myself to blame, really.

So I assume that you are slightly more padded now... No offense. I would see that as a clear advantage in this business. I mean, drum stick on a bony arse sounds deadly to me, it needs some flesh to come to its right, otherwise it will just be damaging wood on bone and no jauntily bouncing buttocks that can thrive from the impact...

Keep digging, boy.

Well, I've also gained some 60 pounds since I last was up for sale on the meat market you know...

60 lbs, that's it? I've gained way more than that! (In total, while pregnant three times...)

Start exercising if you're not content. I've heard that getting your tushy smacked burns a lot of calories...

Ps. Gaining the 60 pounds was without getting pregnant (for obvious reasons). I think you're allowed to discount some 16 pounds weight gain or something like that for each consecutive pregnancy, so you don't have to start counting before 108 pounds if you compare to me. And a large arse is awesome to smack you know so it's not really a problem for you girls...