What's your favourite implement?

I can't - if I exercise any more than I already do, my husband will get that pout on his face and fret that I will start to look like, and I quote, "those bags of antlers on magazine covers with the orange wrinkled abs and that desperate look in their eyes like the only thing they want in this world is a sandwich", and he is frightened that I will no longer look like, and I quote, "every man's favourite Renoir painting."

(That's how you pay a compliment...)

Ah! I see you have found the perfect mate that truly understands how to appreciate an arse of perfection. I'd die if my lady came home with one of those bony work-out arses; there'd just not be anything to smack! So it means that you're perfect then, just sufficiently padded as a saucy lady should be.

OK, you're forgiven

Write about: Hardwood paddles or other rigid wooden implements (hairbrushes, bath brushes, cooking spoons) first, then straps (leather or rubber) second, I simply enjoy the imagery of the loud whacking, smacking and cracking sounds and the victim's unprotected buttock rounds bouncing from the impacts. Since I'm generally identifying with the bare-bottomed victim of a feminine disciplinarian, the rapidly building-up sting and heat on the spankee's behind is also appealing.

Read about: Much the same, although I do appreciate accounts of canings and switchings if they provide some details of the chastisement and the feelings/reactions of its recipient as it progresses.

Give: From a practical standpoint, my smacking palm is all I'm in a position to employ at this moment in my life, and even then only quite moderately.

Recieve: My darling wife is a 'vanilla' who'll indulge my predominantly *bottomish* spankophile tendencies on occasion, however she wouldn't put in the practice to be fairly proficient with a flexible instrument of correction, thus I get my "whuppins" primarily with hardwood implements (paddles, brushes, wooden spoons). However, she does enjoy using a short, ultra-whippy riding crop with a split rubber tip, plus an implement from Cane-iac called simply "the Wallop," one with a hard rubber striking surface attached to a pair of slim pliable connecting rods, which gives it a clever combination of rigidity and snapping flexibility.

While I appreciate implement variety, both in spanking-oriented literature and practical reality, a sturdy wooden paddle is still my #1 overall favorite...

--C.K.

People of a certain age will remember the little toy paddles that came attached with a red rubber ball on an elastic string. I have always had a sort of fetish for these paddles. They were real popular during the 40s, 50s and well into the 60s. The most popular one was made by the Fli-Back Company in High Point, NC and they depicted the company logo, a cowboy playing ball while riding a bucking bronco. And much to the chagrin of kids everywhere at the time, the elastic string would invariably break rendering the paddle useless for anything except spanking, for which it was perfect. The paddles sold during that time were made of a more solid and sturdier wood than the later models which were made of some type of composite that rendered them non-effective as a spanking implement. But back in the day when they still made of good wood and when the strings broke,...parents, teachers and just about anyone else who had the responsibility of disciplining kids would keep the paddle for that purpose. They would produce a little nasty surface sting that would leave red marks but not bruise or cause any other deep tissue damage. That made them perfect for bare bottom spanking, in fact, they were probably too little light to cause anything more than a very light sting over clothing. They could also be used for quite a few licks because they had a cumulative effect that was necessary to achieve for real disciplinary paddling. They were also perfect for OTK although most teachers would use them with the student bending over, I only had one teacher (a female) who ever paddled OTK. But most all teachers had one in their desk drawer and would use them quite frequently. Most all parents also had several they kept around. My mom had one that she'd gotten as a complimentary gift one time when she bought a six-pack of Dr. Pepper at the grocery store. It had 'Drink Dr.Pepper' printed on the blade and my mom would always threaten my sisters and I with a "taste of Dr. Pepper" if we didn't straighten up. But since these paddles seem to be the most common implement in use at the time when I was coming of age and just getting curious about my seemingly strange fascination with spanking, I have always romanticized them. And, although I have only written one story in which I incorporated the use of one, I would have to say the original Fli-Back paddle, even though you can't get them anymore, is my favorite implement to fantasize about. And because they weren't a "severe" instrument by any stretch, I've always thought they would haven been ideal for sensual spanking.

I just had a mental image of what a spanking would look like if the little red rubber ball was still attached, and snorted my juice through my nose. You would have to spank really fast, though, to get the right rhythm of hitting the ball. Kinda killed any potential erotic vibe

On a slightly different note, I found that ping-pong paddles hardly hurt at all, disappointingly. And it's not like I'm super tough, I'm a huge wimp.

The Canadian regulation school strap. I have one from the late 1960's, the genuine article: 16 inches of punishing rubber and canvas, not dissimilar from conveyor belting. Applied to the palms of the hands, the offender quickly loses composure -- which is uniquely shaming, as the offender is facing his or her disciplinarian, and making eye contact while the strap does its work. The strap always wins.

Burgundy, the mental picture I got of you spanking someone with one of those little paddles with the rubber ball attached and getting the rhythm down so on every lick, the ball hit the paddle made me smile.

Thing is, if you engage in kinky stuff, sometimes things are bound to wrong, and when they do sometimes it's hilarious (in hindsight.) Once this guy I was playing with thought it would be 'sexy' to have satin sheets, but I was squirming around so much on top of them (belt; shit hurts, man) that I got tangled up, and then satin is slippery so I slid down from the mattress onto the floor and landed with a very unsexy thud, still tangled up in the sheets like a fly in a web.

We had to stop playing and he had to spend the next ten minutes untangling me from his ridiculous satin sheets. We laughed so much the mood was totally killed and we couldn't get going again, so then we gave up and went and watched Seinfeld.

I kinda wanna try that paddle with the rubber ball thing now. You know, for science.

Burgundy, yes, of course, in the interest of science, as we used to say, go for the gold, it sounds as if you have a willing partner. The only thing is, within the bounds of your comfort zone, you have to report on it.

And yes, satin sheets aren't all they are cracked up to be, you're putting your best moves on her and she slide away, unintentionally, and yes, partners and I have slid completely off, not good for her or myself. As I heard Jeff Foxworthy say, "that is definitely a show stopper".