How to handle women

Phew, that is a relief

Cal, they call that 'Between a rock and a hard place.'

Sorry, but the woman in my life tells me not to even comment on this!

CS

Agree with Cal33 , Smart Man

Regardless of the disagreement, tell her you love her. If you think she's made an egregious error, tell her that you love her. If she calls you a baboon butthead, tell her that you love her. Have chocolate stashed somewhere for times like this; you get a bite, she gets the rest. Then, you can upend her.
Cowboy (posting on my wife's (Sar) account.)

On the subject of disagreements I remember my grandfather sending me out to buy some flowers for my grandmother after they had a blazing row the night before. I was puzzled because I could clearly see the row hadn't been his fault but he told me it didn't matter whose fault the row was, because it was his duty as a husband to buy the flowers. I think he might have been guilty of putting her on a pedestal but it didn't do their marriage any harm because he was with her from their first date at sixteen to the day he died.

Just two weeks ago I read an interesting scientific article about what factors predict long lasting relationships. The best predictors are: Little sex, constant misfortune, resignation and unsure partners. Well, no wonder that I'm still married too. Or is it the other way round: A long marriage leads to little sex, constant misfortune and resignation.

Far be from me to disagree with science Mati but that is surely a mistake. I notice our government is thinking of offering parenting classes maybe the first step would be to hold marriage classes!! Can't see me attending myself of course unless it's as a role model!

Marriage classes? I really don't think that's the answer.

There is a huge divorce-laden gulf between knowing what we should do and doing it. My current feeling is that mongamy is not natural. Possible, yes, but not natural.

That depends on whether you're a man or a women. Evolution takes a long time to work, our minds have not changed much since paleolithic times. The urge for reproduction tends to drive us.

In a primitive hunter/gatherer society a woman had certain requirements in order to reproduce. During the latter stages of pregnancy doing things such as climbing trees for fruit, hunting, gathering food, etc. were difficult. After the baby was born she had to keep it with her and nurse it for several years. After the baby was weaned other women in the tribe could care for the child her freeing her for other activities. So her best shot at having children was to find a man who was willing to stay with her and provide for her and the child for at least the length of time for her to get pregnant and finally wean the child, about two and half to four years. By the way, that is the most likely time for most marriages around the world to break up, after two and a half to four years.

For a man his best shot at reproduction was to impregnate as many women as possible. In primitive societies the infant mortality rate is fifty per cent and would be even higher if the man takes off and doesn't help the woman. However if he manages to impregnate ten women in a few years and only two or three of those children reach adulthood that means he is two or three times more successful at reproduction than if he stayed with one women for that length of time to make sure her one child survives.

An example of how women favor monogamy and men favor polygamy is to look what happens when the other sex isn't involved as in the gay community. In the US the first state to allow gay marriage was Massachusetts. In the first few months quite a few gay couples rushed to get married, ninety percent of them were women. Gay women tend to be more monogamous and gay men are notoriously polygamous. Think of "glory holes" as an example of that.