A few words of advice for our American friends.

A very good point, TT. There are many examples of usages that crossed the pond with the early settlers, stayed in use among you guys, but since died out here. I believe 'guy' itself is one of them. I wouldn't use the word 'degraded' though - language is living and slippery and simply serves its users.

I loved the road signs I saw a few years ago in the USA that said: YIELD! I expected to see a highway robber appear on his horse!

We are all in favour of democracy but I think considering the number imbalance that it's only fair that each of us Brits are allocated approximately 3.33333333333333 votes each! Hope that is agreeable to you!

PS I think you might be guilty of a wee bit of stereotyping Smeple old chap? Not to worry! Anyway jolly good show!! pip pip!!

PPS Nothing wrong with crooked teeth when you get to my age you are very grateful to have any at all. Besides we don't all want to spend thousands of pounds a year at the dentist!

I can´t argue with your historical facts, but being a bit of a ´naval nut´, what with being a subject of her majesty whose nation ruled the waves for a century and a half I´m afraid you might find that the USS Enterprise (CVN 65), the worlds´ first nuclear powered aircraft carrier (hats off to our transatlantic cousins for that coup), becomes beached like a whale somewhere off Canvey Island depending on the tides due to her draught (39ft), unable to conduct flying operations! Oooops!!!!

(Please note I use the English spelling of draught for ´depth as in the water needed to float´, not draft as per US parlance which implies a current of air, hot or otherwise)

Now, if you are talking about your Ticonderoga ´Aegis´ cruisers, well that´s another matter entirely!

I´m afraid this transatlantic cousin hasn´t mastered these grinning icons, so please imagine my tongue firmly in my cheek ..... on second thoughts don´t ... it´s probably not a pretty sight!

It's what made America great. But, ok, in fairness we'll just send twisted8 and cal33 in that stupid green rowboat to scout things out--then the USS Constitution (which will kick the ass of any of His Majesty's ships---BTW why do they all belong to "his majesty"?) will sail in. All captured British seamen will be forced to "kiss the gunner's daughter" by Aunt Carla. Blimp---no pushing to get in the front of the line.

Nouw, nouw. We cannout fault the British for wanting a moure flavourful beer. After all, there is little pleasantry of the palate to be found in a country whouse main fourm of cooking is " Dump it in a pot and boil the shit out of it until there is no flavour left."

In the bad old days that is the way it was done. My Aunt was possibly the worlds worse cook and dump it in a pot and boil the shit out of it brilliantly describes her approach to cookery. The family used to refer to her oven as the incinerator. As she looked after me as a very young child I grew up thinking toast was always black and always tasted of charcoal. I think though all that awful English cooking is mainly in the past. We now have some wonderful English cafes and restaurants. Even a few pubs are providing excellent and traditional English food.

You are quite right, blimp! I forgot to mention thriftiness as one of the stereotypical British characteristics. Good Show!


Sorry, old man, no taxation without representation. Didn't we already cover that part of history about 230 years ago?

Actually you could draw a thrift map of the British isles. Most of the country would be a healthy pink colour but you would get this tiny red dot just where I am!! Show me a poor dentist they are making a fortune out of our pain! £80 for a filling, I would fill a ten foot hole for that money!! All those white teeth that you Americans grin with are no help if you are clinically obese so its a question of priorities. Personally I would sooner be slim with lousy teeth!

Well I may be fortunate, but I've rarely eaten anything like that.
Basically that was the British poor person's way of making do when they couldn't afford good cuts or even good meat.
I agree that my parent's generation liked their food overcooked, but things began to change in the sixties.
I'd actually challenge Collegeboy to come to England now and find anything that resembles that.

The worst cooking is unfortunately usually to be found in imported US burger chains, followed by Greek Kebab bars-although a few of the latter are quite good.

Two of the most disappointing meals I've ever eaten in the past twenty years were in France-one was a confit of duck so greasy as to be inedible!

One disappointment is that good quality traditional British cooking is hard to find at reasonable prices-but I can recommend a great country pub which serves a good assortment of real ale and a superb steak and kidney pudding.
Fortuinately for my waistline it's nearly two hundred miles away near my sister's.

Moot point but for almost 60 years they have ALL belonged to HER Majesty. And yes they really do ALL belong to her, as each and every crew member swears an oath to defend Her and Her subjects and Dominions.

And a quiet word on weight of numbers.
It is unwise to assume that we are powerless due to the 3:1 membership ratio.
Please be aware that we have Very Special forces here that are able to be mobilised at the drop of a crisp packet or the pull of a Sherry cork.
One word from Februs and they would be off to occupy the deserted but not derelict Coastal Fortifications, bolstered by a plentiful supply of Field Rations. (Crisps, Harvey's Bristol Cream, Marmite etc)
Secure in the knowledge that in the event of things taking a downward turn, they are able to use the ultimate sanction........ Miss Thrashbottom!

It has been a long time since we had our Sceptered Isle threatened by "Johnny Foreigner" and remember how that ended, and with Miss T as our final resort, one has to say Send your Enterprise! We are ready!

We have managed to neutralise any Enterprise here for a good number of years.
As for the nuclear (NOT Nucular) powered vessel, we will not fear. We will find someone to put a shilling in the meter on one of our state of the art gunboats and soon put them to flight.

I forsee Captain Mainwaring (That is pronounced Mannering) taking up the cudgels for the Home Guard again (Do'nt tell them your name Pike!).

So beware with your threats of force, or you could find we have sent a gunboat up the Potomac to quell this little uprising, (providing of course that we could borrow one back from the breakers yard in India for a little while) Well it worked with the Chinese did'nt it!

Rule Brittania & all that!