Spanko jokes

@PhilK
I think some of us got it first time.

Yup, for me works better without the punchline.

The taditional Mardi Gras cake has a plastic baby token in it. The cake is called a "King Cake" and the baby is supposed to represent the baby Jesus. One person in a work group will bring in a King Cake for the break room on the first day of the Mardi Gras season. Whoever finds the baby in their slice of the cake brings another cake the next day and so on throughout the Mardi Gras season. RK

That could work: Substitute a spanking implement (small model thereof) and whoever finds the implement has to take the previously decided number of strokes. The devious nature of spankees should ensure that the implement was bettered every day!

Man goes into a bar. Barman serves his usual beer. "You are looking a bit rough."

"Not surprised, I'm worn out."

"What you been doing?"

"Spanking the wife."

"Wow, that must have been some spanking."

"Not really--it took me three blocks to catch her. Had no energy left for the spanking."

Geoffrey Stirling.

Wife: I don't want that ugly furniture in my house.
Husband: It's a spanking bench. Get over it.

Booboom tish!

My favorite has to be the one.....and I'm just telling you the premise, not the whole joke itself....where a single mother seeks the advice of an experienced female neighbor when she discovers her young son watching bdsm porn on the internet. The neighbor admits that while she raised boys of her own and knew porn viewing was something to be expected, she wasn't quite sure what to advise, but then concluded: "I'm not sure what you should do........ but I definitely don't think you should spank him."

This is absolutely true. Just paraphrased. Abraham Lincoln told the British Ambassador :

This fellow came walking down this path when he came upon four crying and wailing children and this women beating them with a switch. Apparently her husband had tried to settle her down to show her children mercy, now his face was bleeding from half a dozen switch smacks.

The woman turned to the fellow, “ Do you have an opinion. Do you want some of this? “
He said, “ No Ma’am. I’m just walking by, minding my own business.”

Apparently Lincoln didn’t care what Britain thought about the Civil War.

Confused. Why does the fact that Lincoln told that story to the British Ambassador, show that he didn't care what Britain thought about the Civil War?

I may be being dumb, but please explain.

Geoffrey Stirling.