Geoffrey:
PS I thought we were discussing spanko jokes!
Well said, sir. All these graduates from the Hollywood school of history (CK passing summa cum laude) have been making me feel utterly uneducated.
My favourite is an old chestnut.
Two blokes chatting over a pint.
Sid: Going to watch Rovers this afternoon?
Alf: Nah, I've got to go shopping with the wife.
Sid: You're under the thumb, mate. You want to do what I do. Tell her that you're going to the match and if she kicks up a fuss do what I do. Put her over your knee, pull down her knicks and tan her bare arse!"
Alf: Thanks mate. I'll try that when I get home.
Next day and they're back in the pub.
Sid: Didn't see you at the match yesterday. What happened? Chicken out did you?"
Alf: Not a bit, Sid. I marched in and told her right off that I was going to the match and when she said 'oh no you're not' I did what you said. I grabbed hold of her, dragged her to a chair, turned her over my knee, and pulled her pants down to her knees ..."
Sid: And then?
Alf: Then, when I saw her bare arse I thought 'who the fuck wants to go a football match anyway?'