Psychological differences between the sexes

cfpub:
The real imbalance comes with f/m stories, readership of which is overwhelmingly, though not 100%, male.

Sorry, that is just not true cfpub. M/f is the most popular with both genders but F/m has a significant female readership. I should know. I have been the m in F/m all my life! Women are often greatly turned on by dominating a man, it is not exclusively a male obsession. Society is so male dominated that women appreciate a chance to crack the whip! Not always literally of course. They deserve equality in society and in relationships. The old order of men being automatically the head of the household is slowly changing in many western societies.

As a general rule I think a society in which all the power rests with the male is a society which is less humane, less well educated and is also a society in which people have less freedom to live and act as they choose. Look what the Taliban, an extreme example of a male dominated society, has done for Afghanistan.

I can but go by my own experience. For a number of years, CF Publications published a f/m magazine called Men Under Control. At it's apex, it had perhaps 75 subscribers, during the entire period of its existence it had not a single paid female subscription. Purchases of individual f/m stories from CF are also overwhelmingly made by males. As I said above, this is not to argue that there are no women who enjoy f/m activities or even fantasies, just that in most women it is a secondary interest if at all. Even less is it to argue that a male dominated society is the natural order of things, in fact I think the only reasonable thing for spankers and spankees to do is to check their politics at the door and remember we are indulging in fantasy.

Based on my participation on numerous F/M-oriented forums and discussion groups (especially the late lamented "F/M Spanking Discussion Board"), I generally have to agree that considerably more males than females show an overt interest in F/M spanking--although I do believe that more females would openly participate in such groups if they weren't concerned about being innundated by unwanted e-mails and IMs from male participants.

I've been asked if I'm female a couple of times, after posting stories written from a first-person feminine point of view, but of course I'm no more feminine than William Bonney and Harry Longbaugh were.

Male bottoms significantly outnumber female tops here in Spankingland, which is undoubtedly why some role-playing women can have lucrative careers as pro dommes/dominatrices... --C.K.

Even though I am hopelessly locked into m/f, the disjunction between the number of female tops and male bottoms is a strong argument that if there is a Designer, she is either malicious or not intelligent.

Fair enough cfpub. I am sure that all your customers might well have been males but that is a rather small sample. No one is doubting there aren't enough female sadists to go round!

It is just a deeply personal thing. I think it is erroneous to generalize anything when it comes to not only people, but their kinks.

I'm a huge fan of m/f. As a hetero female, I'm sure that is an easy assumption. As I have spent more years on spanking forums, expanded my reading circle and generally become more accepting of my own kink, I think I have expanded what my 'acquired tastes' have become.

With that being said, I can now enjoy a good f/f story or video clip. As long as it isn't blatantly sexual in nature. Early on in discovering spanko-goodies on the internet, I'm positive I would have immediately slammed shut a f/f story or clip. Now I can really enjoy them.

I've tried a few times to expand my reading circle to include m/m and I don't think I've ever made it through one complete story and certainly not a video. I'm not remotely offended by male bottoms, in fact, if females find it pleasurable why wouldn't a male? On a purely logical plane I want to like the m/m genre. But even after nearly a decade of poking around the spanko world, I still can't enjoy a m/m spanking. Doesn't seem to matter if it is erotic, romantic, discipline or playful...no can do. Seems to be true among my spanko chat buddies too, but that too would be an incredibly small sample.

This is a MOST interesting discussion thread. I hope I can fan the flames, ah hem. Motivate further discussion here by a few observations.


Mr. Pub. I see you have not lost your zest for living dangerously. You know that some of the usual suspects will now be out looking for you with their cudgels & pitchforks. As usual you will give them the slip. However. The Old One is harder to avoid and she is trickier. (Grin)

I have traveled regularly between the provinces of Spank & BDSM in the land of Kink now for over 30 years using the SS Lust as a ferry across the sea of Debauch. The land route being much longer and most tiresome. You have to go through such principalities as Foot Fetish & Food Fetish cross the swamp of infantileism and pay outrageous tolls in small villages of erotic & sexual deviancy too unsavory to mention by name. My sense of it is the following.

Bottoms & bottom oriented switches, regardless of gender, are in the overwhelming majority.

My personal experience leads me to agree with Mr. Pub that interest in f/m spanking predominates. It has lead, after all, to a real market that trades in real hard currency value for services rendered both real and literary. Hence the large sub-culture of Pro/Dom's that stretches world wide. Remember that Mr. Pub has hard numbers over thirty years to substantiate his assertions.

In the more private society of clubs, generalized chat space, play parties, and small groups of the hetero persuasion Fem/Dom's tend to slightly outnumber the Male/Dom's and we are all on the hunt for bottoms that are usually slightly in the minority. Hence the propensity for Dom's to sit around and talk technique or shop talk and proving the wisdom of the phrase 'Bring Your Own'. This is also known as the 'Sharks Circling' dance.

Outside the gay community m/m action of any kind is still uncomfortable for most due to the very nature of anal sex and tens of centuries of prohibition. This is changing albeit slowly.

I admit that I am hopelessly M/f and like that way and make no apologies. But I do agree that as far as spank stories go m/f holds the most interest for women and I would guess that is due to being female and again centuries of societal conditioning. I also think that this is changing. A good thing for them.

I would note that on this and similar issues factual information is scanty on the ground. I am close to many of the American Sex Positive movement both nationally and local and they tell me the same thing. Good data is only being slowing accumulated and decent and rigorous analysis is even further away. I would note for the record that a recent Pew Research poll tells us that 12% of Americans participate in BDSM behaviors (that includes the Spankos) and that a whopping 61% are interested in the subject at some level. For me those are amazing numbers. I would also note for you that my local club, The Wet Spot, has about 12,000 members with about 3500 active and dues paying at any one time over a period now of ten years on a $600K annual budget. Take a look at the stat's on this site for instance. Wow!

My last observation would be that things are changing as a ever increasing pace. While we all have our personal kink our overall numbers are growing rapidly as people find out that it's OK to surface at some level. I would think that there are many years of 'sorting it out' yet to go through. It is discussions amongst a few people like this one that makes it all go. Sorry to be so long winded about all this but please discus on. Remember that many who hang out here and will never post are reading and thinking and ACTING about this due to you guys.

twisted8
Bottoms & bottom oriented switches, regardless of gender, are in the overwhelming majority.

In the more private society of clubs, generalized chat space, play parties, and small groups of the hetero persuasion Fem/Dom's tend to slightly outnumber the Male/Dom's and we are all on the hunt for bottoms that are usually slightly in the minority. Hence the propensity for Dom's to sit around and talk technique or shop talk and proving the wisdom of the phrase 'Bring Your Own'. This is also known as the 'Sharks Circling' dance.

I know that the infinite encompasses multitudes, but how do you reconcile these two paragraphs?

steve

Steve
It's rather simple actually. The total sphere of all those involved in BDSM/Spanko behavior be it real time, fantasy time, or part time the former applies.

For those of us that take our kink out for a walk as it were, the latter. A much more scarier, difficult, dangerous, and much more exciting space to be in hence the lesser numbers of people that go there. And in different proportions.

Or to restate: Those that think, read, fantasize plus those that actually practice are the former group.

Those that practice form the latter.

All of these observations are just that; observations. Very subjective to be sure and only based on my own life experiences as a active player in the scene.

I wonder if you could take the time to come up with some hard numbers based on your sales? I trust your assertions based on your long involvement in the genre including the pre-internet era but harder numbers would be of great interest to me personally. I've been an occasional customer since the early eighties and think that you would know more about the literary side of these questions more than most. I also noticed that your 'Stupendous Catalog' appears to mirror those assertions.

Again let me congratulate you in guessing the meaning of my handle. One of only two that have nailed me on it cold in an entire lifetime. While being infinitely twisted; regrettably it does not come with omniscience or wisdom. Those qualities have to be gained the old fashion way. Darn it!

Paul

Would I could add more numerical precision to my claims. I can state with a reasonable degree of certainty that in over 20 years of publishing Men Under Control I did not have a single paid female customer, and that in nearly 30 years of selling a total of several hundred thousands of dollars of spanking stories, the purchase of a f/m story by a woman has been a rare and noticeable event, not so for m/f, f/f, or even m/m. I can also state that MUC as we fondly called it was the most successful of the five magazines CF published at various times, and the only f/m one.