Jillian Keenan Spanking apologist

Her views and opinions on the subject comes from primarily a educated factual base, and is expressed well as would be expected from a journalist with sound academic, professional and personal journey background.
A big plus is that there is nothing in what she says about this thing we all enjoy, that in anyway can realistically be seen even by the anti consensual spanking folk as negative

Is the information new, no most of it is not, however it appears she is getting the info across in manner a lot of people are accessing and enjoying, so that is positive.

If Jillians input educates, reassures and helps particularly those early on in their 'kink' journey, then that has to be good.

Jillian is one of my heroes. Whatever you might think about her writings, she the only person I know of who has publicly admitted to our particular sexual orientation in a major, mainstream publication (The New York Times!) since Daphne Merkin in The New Yorker a couple of decades ago. I don’t think any man has ever done that. Honest, open, thoughtful. I believe her book would have been called Spanking and Shakespeare if her publisher thought that title would sell. Lady Green was the first to publish good spanking guides that went beyond porn, but Jillian writes about social aspects as normal, and much more, and that makes her very special - unique, in fact. Her story is our story, and I wish I had the nerve to buy a copy for all my vanilla acquaintances.

Jillian Keenan is a great writer and maker of videos which I came across some time ago. But perhaps I admire her most for doing the Pacific Crest Trail from start to end in one go just before lockdown.

Jillian K. is brave and brilliant. In many ways, a guiding light.

hampshire
Agreed!

Jillian Keenan has been my hero for several years now because she has honestly and forthrightly written about spanking and spankos as no one else has done, for a public audience, in this generation. Daphne Merkin did this in the New Yorker (or was it the Times?) many years ago, and these two brave women - no men yet - are the only journalists to seriously try to bring the subject into public view. Her understanding of spanking as a sexual act, and therefore as something never to be used on children, stands as the most enlightened serious writing (and video) on the subject to be found. She put herself out there as nobody else has, and for that we are all in her debt. Sexy pictures of her spanking or being spanked? Let's not trivialize her.

jsanon

I wish there were “like” react options here. Very well said, and I completely agree with you.

I'm a bit conflicted about this. On the one hand, like most people here, I got a huge amount out of reading her book, and I have nothing but admiration for her bravery in living openly as someone with a spanking fetish. I also think that she's done some pretty serious intellectual work in conceptualising the thing that unites us. Yes, "innate, lifelong and unchosen" captures it perfectly; and yes, like jsanon, I found her framing of spanking as fundamentally a sexual act and therefore not something to do to children both surprising and, even after much thought, compelling. After reading her life story in her book I found I was emotionally invested in her happiness - I was saddened to learn that the relationship at the centre of it, with a vanilla man, fell apart soon after it was published, causing her a lot of suffering. I have a lot of affection and admiration for her.

However, I struggle with the lesson that she's drawn from her own life experiences. She has a YouTube video where she basically tells the viewer that spanko-vanilla relationships can never work - the only routes to happiness are to find someone who shares your fetish or someone who's not fussed about monogamy.



As someone who's been having monogamous spanking fun with his vanilla wife for over two decades now, I know this is nonsense. But I didn't know it was nonsense early on in our relationship, and if I'd watched Jillian Keenan's video on the subject at the wrong time... I could easily have blown up something good and beautiful by pushing my then-girlfriend to accept that the only way for me to be sexually fulfilled was by playing with other fetishists. I suppose I worry that because of her own traumatic experience, she's now committed to the profoundly negative idea that being a spanko means you're incapable of having a monogamous romantic relationship with a non-spanko. I have visions of people breaking up with girlfriends/boyfriends they love because of this pessimistic message, or causing intense pain to their husbands/wives by presenting them with a choice between 'consensual non-monogamy' and divorce.

It's a relatively small thing compared to the good she's worked in the world, I admit, but ever since seeing that video I've not been able to look at her and think she's an uncomplicated blessing to people like us.

Welcome to the forum! Doesn't the above statement mean that your wife isn't totally vanilla, even though she might not be as much into spanking as you are? Other people may have vanilla partners who won't even discuss the idea, let alone participate in it.

Not the person you're asking the question to, but I'm also in a relationship with a vanilla woman with some spanking action going on and in my case it's 100% clear that my girlfriend is completely vanilla.

She will spank me if I ask her to, but she gets no enjoyment out of it whatsoever and only does it to please me. Sure she's more open minded than most as she accepted me despite my fetish and is willing to indulge me every now and then, but in no way does that make her kinky let alone into spanking haha

We're currently at a point where I don't really ask her to spank me anymore as I don't really have a craving for it like I used to (perhaps because I know she's not into it?), but she still indulge me by dirty talking about it from time to time.

In my case at the moment I'm perfectly happy about our sex life, but sadly that isn't the case for my girlfriend as she wishes I was into vanilla sex (I try, but unfortunately my brain is very much hard wired for spanking stuff haha).

I'll watch Keenan's video and report back if I have something to say about it, thanks DrT for sharing it!