Active spanking people ?

Dear Ishmael, I really feel for you and understand some of what you must be feeling. Childbirth, postnatal depression, poor health and young children destroyed my interest in sex for many years. However, there was light at the end of the tunnel for me, with my secret spanking interest set free and the freedom of maturity, I rediscovered and increased my passion, much to my husband's delight. He has been my mainstay throughout my troubled health and is now reaping the rewards! We can all lose ourselves in our fantasies, that is sometimes all we have, but we must grab what we can and make the most of every opportunity.
Love, Elorac

Thanks all for the interesting replies ! This topic seems to have been interesting to a lot of you. I am 61 and have only been actively spanking in the last couple of years. Much reading of stories and fantasising, but have only met guys so far most of which switch like me. Still like reading stories. So al of you authors keep it up, I especially like F/m stories written by ladies, preferably english, just not enough of them on here though ! l
I think that sites like this enable us to have open conversations about our needs etc, things I can't discuss with my wife, and not be sen as weird/perverted etc.

Ishmael,

My wife when through Post Delivery Syndrome with our second and third child. They were both unplanned pregnancies. It went by fairly quick, but during that time is was confusing and deflating. So, I know where you're coming from. There's an old saying that when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

After reading your post, many can see how easy it is to talk about things here on the LSF forum and to many of the members. As I said before, we're all on the same big yacht.

First Ishamel, maybe soon your wife will find herself again. Like Flora said, child rearing can zap a lot out of you. My dh and I just celebrated 24 yrs, but it hasn't always been this exciting. Our boys are teens now and when I hit 40 something changed. I feel more confident and this has lead to great play with my hubby. He was vanilla, but the last 5 yrs he began giving me play spankings with a few that were a little more than that. Now it's usually once a week and we are intimate afterwards. Other times it might just be a stress reliever for me. I feel blessed for my situation and I am so glad I found this site.

Sorry, that was should have been Elora. And Bend, I think this yacht rocks!

I guess my r/l spanking life is very similar to what was described by many other men here. I am married but my wife is 90% vanilla and is an independent and outgoing woman. She does not object if I land a few swats during foreplay but neither did she mention that she particularly enjoys them. The more we get excited the harder can the swats become although she complained a few times... She also does not mind a few playful slaps outside of the bed. But she scorns at anything more serious and I can't imagine her consenting to a spanking session. She also does not want to spank me.

About once a month I usually attend a play party. There is never sex. I usually tell my wife that I have a work related social activity...

Overall, I found that this combination of r/l spanking activity works for me. Theoretically, I do want more. But with both of us having full time jobs and a small kid I think I do what is realistic...

Have you ever thought about telling the truth?

Ideally, a person should, but if he were anticipating a serious negative reaction there could be marital problems as a result.

My personal perspective is that a spouse who won't make at least a modest effort to meet his/her partner's spankophile desires shouldn't emulate Aesop's dog, barking in that manger, if that partner wishes to engage in spanking play elsewhere.

However, since spankophiles obviously do sexualize their spankings (given and/or received), some vanilla spouses undoubtedly would consider their mates' engaging in non-marital spanking play to be "cheating" on them.

Of course, if a spankophile is primarily 'bottomish' and enjoys undergoing rather strenuous wallopings, outside-of-the-household playtime generally leaves colorful 'evidence' that it hardly requires Nancy Drew to uncover... --C.K.

There is probably a long list of members here who wouldn't object to Nancy Drew checking for that particular sort of evidence.

That would depend on how attractive this Nancy Drew was I suppose.

For myself others have described my Neapolitan (chocolate/vanilla) marriage pretty accurately already. The lovely lady has a delightful bot but it remains unspanked. She knows, doesn't understand and has no interest in participating. Once I tried to get her to read one of the stories I had written, and she was almost physically sick with disgust; and my reader knows how lacking in spanking action my stories are.

And to this day I don't think I have knowingly met a spanko in real life