Active spanking people ?

I tend to think that this and similar sites cater primarily for people with a spanking fetish but limited availabilty to actual spanking play, thus it caters for a rich but largely unfulfilled spanking fantasy life. Personally I can't be forever out at the sheer volume of munches, clubs, etc around North West England so I have to choose my events carefully and only occasionally will that involve play, although I'm luckier than many in that my wife knows all about my proclivities and will top me occasionally. But I have to keep my relationships with "scene" women at a very low level.

Hi guys, I thought I'd better write something from a female point of view, I am fairly new to the community as a member and author and my confidence is growing as I learn from the site. I hid my interest in spanking from my husband for many years, not having any outlet at all. In recent years, I admitted my fantasies and he refused to indulge me initially as he was afraid of hurting me ( apart from the obvious hurt from a spanking ). He has most definitely come around to the idea now, I have to behave or he WILL spank me! We indulge in it as foreplay but also, I find I benefit from punishment on occasions. I hold onto bad things and tend to sulk for days, he has found that if he spanks me, I can let go and move on. Sex is also much more exciting and satisfying now as we are both more open with each other. Well, I took the bull by the horns and made my confession! Hope you all appreciate how difficult this was?

When I was married, my now ex-wife used to spank me. I would also spank her. I spanked her a lot more often than she spanked me, but she spanked a lot longer and harder than I did. I've been divorced since 1990, so it's been a long time since I've spanked or been spanked.

I am a switch and my husband is vanilla; however, he understands my need to engage in spanking etc. I tend to play with friends, mostly female, but some male, and there is no sex involved with men. These days, I'm usually doing the spanking but now and then I find I need to be taken in hand by a strict, younger woman.

I have met with some women from time to time I have met on sites that used to have spanking personals you could post on. This was from about 1994 - 2005. Since then many of these personals which you could post or answer posts have gone away. So it has been a while for me. You would think that living in Southern California there would be some willing female out there needing a good spanking. There are opportunities which involve paying and I simply refuse to do that, not now, not at this point. been there, done that. I must sat that I feel sorry for bunwarmer36. I mean to have that beautiful heart - shaped bottom right there on a daily basis and not be able to take advantage! I mean, that's un American. Just awful.

Robert56, welcome to my world. Grrrrr. She has the yummiest tush...... Elora, thank you for sharing your story with us. Now you see that you're not the only one who has struggled with this.

I'm one of those born spankos that has been giving spankings from a very young age. I'm a top and have always spanked women, without drawing a distinction between spanko/vanilla until seeing it on the Internet. I think most women are open to spanking in some form or another and to this day have never been with a spanko woman, despite having spanked all of my girlfriends and a majority of my female friends.

I usually write Ff/fF stories because M/F isn't much of a fantasy for me. I don't know if any M/F stories I write could live up to what I've done/seen in real life.

Haven't gotten any as an adult.

I'm active on and off. I'm presently single but have managed to give a few spankings over the past months with women I've met on FetLife.

This is difficult. Thanks to all who shared, especially Elorac.
Before I married, my then GF and I had some conversations. Regarding my love making, she said, "you don't have to be so polite." We kept talking and she ended up over my lap. I'd never done anything like that -- well, maybe once with another. It turned us both on, and it became a form of foreplay. We both relaxed into it, and I could do a combination spank-touch that would keep her on the brink prior to explosion. I also found that, once she was excited, I could spank harder.
I should mention that she was and remains an ardent feminist. I supported her entirely on this, hence the original remark about my being "polite." I practiced what I believed, especially regarding consent.
We married, and the games continued, but tapered when she became pregnant with our first. The delivery was difficult and she felt shattered that, after long effort, it culminated with a C-section. She felt a failure for that. She was inconsolable. Sex diminished quickly because she was breast feeding and caring for the baby constantly.
I want to add that I was a very active Dad; in fact the day after the birth a nurse came in to simultaneously change the diaper and coach my wife on the proper way to do that, but she walked into me doing exactly that, making me the hero of the midwives and nurses. That pattern of my involvement continued.
The spanking games never really came back. I get an opportunity for a rare "gift" spanking, but she controls the experience entirely, like a nervous driver with a foot floating above the brake pedal. I had even offered my own butt with a "switch" invitation (not from vegetation, God forbid) scenario, but no interest; worse I was accused of manipulation, even though that offer had always been implied. Twins came later, with their own dry spell.
Now we are older. I'm retired and that first child is older than my wife was when we married.
The decades together have been mostly "polite." We've gone to couples counseling, mostly so we could understand and support the difficulties of our kids' issues, but when spanking has come up, I've gotten the answer I expected, "NO."
This is a summary that will not explore other complications. I'll keep the story-telling boundaries and stick to the spanking -- or lack of it.
I hope this doesn't come across as feeling sorry for myself. I find it helpful that the question was asked, and that I had the opportunity to answer.
To all of you who write, thanks for the stories.