A spanko who doesn't like pain?

Well said, twisted! You were one of the very first friends I made here in the LSF, and I have always appreciated your support and sage advice, especially when I was first coming to terms with my own emerging kinky side.

He is so right, mini. There are no "rules" about this -- it's all up to YOU to find a comfort level and partner you're in synch with. No one else's likes and dislikes should ever influence what you want to do and what you enjoy.

Amen to twisted's GRIN!

Aw Twisted.....what a lovely thing to say. Thank you so much.

I don't think you're really nasty and twisted at all - Its all an elaborate front!

I reckon underneath you're a teddy bear! Lol lol.

XxxxxX

I've often known women say something along the lines of "I'm not sure I like being spanked - but I love having been spanked." For many, the sensation of the afterglow is all-important.

Certainly the pain is only one element, and not by any means always the most important, in a spanking. The intimacy, the embarrassment, the closeness, the easing of stress or guilt, the ceding of control, the sense of being held and cherished and cared for, of having her bottom admired and caressed - all these may feed into it for the spankee and give her (or, I assume, him) a deeply satisfying experience.

But as Twisted suggests, there definitely are spankees who need and relish more intense pain - especially if it's led up to by the spanker through a skilfully applied warm-up. What makes a good spanker, I reckon, is empathy - sussing out what your partner wants (long or brief, mild or intense, with or without scolding, etc, etc) and providing it. Especially since she may not wish, or feel able, to express it in so many words.

Actually, he IS. But who cares? He's right about there being no rules in kink (beyond the "safe, sane and consensual" one).

Exactly, Rick. What I meant by knowing when 'enough is enough.' This is true when there is no safe word in place. I believe there should always be a rule of some kind. A line drawn between to consenting (and if punishment) non-consent that the spanker WILL not cross. That's Safe and Sane. One should never be a doormat for the other.

Minidancer. Don't bet the farm on any of this. Wicked Grin.

I don't think you're really nasty and twisted at all - Its all an elaborate front!

I reckon underneath you're a teddy bear! Lol lol.

Janine
Well said, twisted! You were one of the very first friends I made here in the LSF, and I have always appreciated your support and sage advice, especially when I was first coming to terms with my own emerging kinky side.

He is so right, mini. There are no "rules" about this -- it's all up to YOU to find a comfort level and partner you're in synch with. No one else's likes and dislikes should ever influence what you want to do and what you enjoy.

Amen to twisted's GRIN!


There are rules, call them boundaries, that one doesn't want to cross.

I'm not into the heavy pain aspects either, a lot of the experience is heightened by the rituals, the scene setting. So a good hand spanking is always my favorite. However, as a switch I could go further if that was what she wanted.

Speaking as a male bottom, I love OTK handspankings but for me they must at the very least sting, I don't want it if I can't feel it! Then once warmed up, the implement/implements can be introduced and the pain level goes up. I like the heat in my bottom during a spanking but the afterglow is something that I really love! That hot glowing warmth, you are walking around with a big grin and nobody but you and the spanker knows why. Implements such as the Tawse are quite painful but I love it when the lady lays one across my bottom prior to the first stroke, it is frightening but the afterglow from a sound tawsing is amazing, second only to the thing I love to hate!

The Cane! many is the time I have been bent over having a cane coming down on my bottom and thought 'Ouch, that really hurts, I can't stand it' or "Ouch, why do I put myself through such pain" The answer is, I cannot imagine not being caned, I hate it and at the same time, I love it! I can't really explain this but anyone who is caned will know exactly what I mean! It lands with a crack! then a second later the pain bites, then while your brain is still registering the pain, she is tapping your bottom ready to deliver the next stroke, it is a very painful implement when used correctly by someone who knows how to use it but I could not imagine life without it. Again the afterglow is amazing and the lines that decorate the bottom are lovely reminders of the fun I had for many days after!

As many people have already said, we all vary, our pain thresholds vary but we all share one thing, our love of spanking, however hard or soft it is, just enjoy it and be glad you can!

Perhaps men expect more pain from a spanking then women, after all most men on LSF were brought up on corporal punishment or at least the threat of it, and the cane in the UK, which you would expect to hurt a lot. However I was never spanked or caned, apart from a few slaps on the legs and round the head. But getting into spanking, like Titch says, I love to examine the marks and bruises for days after ! I suppose a badge of honour in a way ?