A spanko who doesn't like pain?

I do enjoy being spanked by someone with whom I'm involved romantically and, increasingly, I'm the one doing the spanking. I adjust the intensity to what they are comfortable receiving--it's no good if they don't enjoy it. I love the associated rituals--corner time, panty lowering, mild lecturing perhaps. And yes, I do love the little fiberglas rod that serves as a cane equivalent. It's flexible and it can be snapped lightly or harder so it leaves amark--depending on what is desired by the recipient and also by the giver. We also love to switchfrom inducing pleasure to pain and back again.

In my fantasies - and in my writing - people get hurt, often with canes and such implements - far more than I can take it in real life. I was fortunate enough to be caned by a local mistress at an event this week, and I was struggling to take more than about 15-20 moderate strokes. I didn't have any significant marking, and am only slightly feeling the effects a day and a half later, which I suspect would also be more than enough for many of us. She prefers to cold cane with no warm-up, and I quite like it to feel more like discipline than romantic or sensual play (this is often but not exclusively a guy thing). Well, I say I do - sometimes halfway through I'm wondering quite why I volunteered for this and maybe I should stick to stories!

On the other hand I'm meeting a switchy friend at a fund-raising event tomorrow, and one or other or both of us are up for a spanking. She's more of a spanko than a domme and doesn't like anything too hard, so we'll play nicely with only very slight stingy pain. For her it's the release of getting out and meeting folk in a social scene and getting a nice warm bottom, I'm happy with either.

Some people crave lots of pain in a session, some don't - it's not a competition and spanking has many components of which the actual pain is only one, so everyone should play at the level they're comfortable with.

I think in both instances it's more of a meeting of minds, something I find only spankos are really attuned to.

I'm all about the pleasure of a spanking when I am on the receiving end(seriously I am a pain-whimp and to me a spanking is all about firing those good endorphins as painlessly as possible) Tho when it comes to dishing one out I am happy to spank as hard as the bottom can take it

OK, I am new here. Been reading many great stories and the forum. I am bringing up an old thread because I found the question interesting. I wrote a few short stories of my own but am not sure if they would be good enough for here. They are real life events I encountered with a few of the stories being dressed up slightly but all true for the most part.
What's good for some isn't for me like painful paddles whips and definitely not the cane. I do like a hard hand tho, slow to start and for the long haul, and or during sex. I like the odd feeling the next day, the tingle meaning it was a good one.
Here's a good laugh for you all. My new boyfriend and I were snuggling face to face on the open futon and he tossed my leg up over his hip. While he played with my ass and roamed some other areas he sent some semi hard stingers to that one cheek he had access to in the position we were in. The other cheek never received one single smack. It took me a few minutes the next day to figure out why I felt funny sitting at my desk. Never been spanked on one side only before. I am sure he did it to make me think about him the next day, All day. What's more he started off gentle and then increased everything gradually and I didn't even think he was going to leave any color or sting the next day.
That's what I like, a nice sensual warming that leaves a nice tingle for a day or so but no deep bruising, welts or bleeding.

Welcome aboard, Sally. I started this thread, so you already know my feelings on the subject. You sound as though you have a very similar view point.

You should get those stories sent to Flopsy. Have more faith in your writing. If you enjoyed writing them then others will enjoy reading them...and the comments are great!

Mini
XxxX

islandcarol
A spanking should never be brutal,or excessive.Punishment is the goal. Never torture or excess.

There are all sorts of spankings (erotic, playful, maintenance). That said, I would think in the category of punishment spankings, it would be quite counter-productive for the spanking to be right in line with the sub's desires and well within their desired pain preference. I am this way for sure. I may not like it in the moment, but afterwards I much prefer a spanking from a disciplinarian who made me regret my misbehavior than one that left me feeling like I got away with something. No clean slate feeling at all in that situation, and the whole point for Rosa and me is for her to feel vindicated and me to feel absolved. Only an unpleasant spanking will achieve that.

The level at which two people enjoy the things that they do is something that can only be established by trial and error. The level of pain that can be tolerated and enjoyed is probably going to be influenced by the way in which the spankee feels about the spanker. Ultimately, it is their choice, based on mutual trust and respect. However, the ultimate aim is surely to derive enjoyment from the experience in one way or another.

Well, I'd venture that the swats should produce considerable sting and cause a vocal reaction, so that my being (spousally) spanked simulates true punishment (even though it's actually playful in nature)--I prefer the generic roleplay that I'm being the recipient of domestic discipline, so my bare behind truly hurting (somewhat) is an important part of the experience. Genuinely feeling just a touch ambivalent about the chastisement before it begins, because I'm going to be yelping and gasping with the smarting impacts of the implement employed, that's important to me.

I do agree that deep bruising, welts (as in raised weals) and bleeding aren't at all desirable, but a bright red glow definitely is. Moderate seat soreness, that warm, prickly feeling (especially upon sitting down), hopefully that will last for several days after a sound spanking.

On the fairly rare occasions when I'm administering a marital bottom-warming, it's just that, a mild "warming" consisting of only a bit more than glorified love-pats with my palm--unfortunately, my beloved 'vanilla' wife has a rather low tolerance for physical discomfort.

After being walloped by her however, I definitely desire to be "smarting furiously" (a description I remember reading somewhere) in the rear afterward, while she smiles in smug satisfaction at her handiwork... --C.K.

For me, I always long for the pain of a spanking before it starts, but once things are under way, it usually doesn't take long before it hurts so much that I wonder what the heck I was thinking about when I imagined that getting a spanking was going to be fun. In the case of a spanking that is part of our foreplay, my wife is good about reading my body language and will dial back the intensity if she can tell that that I'm in any serious pain.

My wife has only given me a couple of real punishment spankings in all the years we've been together, and she's used a lot less restraint in those cases. In my mind, the thing that separates these spankings from the others is that she's been a lot less hesitant about inflicting pain if she's punishing me. On these occasions, she will scold me while she's punishing me, and I'll know ahead of time that my lecture/spanking isn't going to end until she's sure that I know why I'm being punished. I think the whole scolding part of the process helps her vent her frustration, and its seems to makes it easier for her forgive me once the punishment is over.

Sort of like Phil K said in one of his earlier comments, I think I ultimately like having been spanked more than I like being spanked. I enjoy having a sore bottom for a day or two afterwards since it's something that only my wife and I know about. I don't like bruises because they often take too long to heal, but I don't mind if she uses a switch on me (probably my favorite implement) and leaves a few marks that take a week or so to fade.