A New Joke Thread

Welsh variant of Tiptopper's joke:

Two Welsh guys chatting in a pub. One says, "You'll never guess what I did today, Dai bach. Had sex with this really gorgeous piece. Stunning she was, look you! And what made it even better - her husband was watching all the time."

"Ohhh, there's wicked of you! But didn't he say anything?"

"Oh yes. He said, 'Baaaaa'."

Q. How do you tell the difference between a boy chromosome and a girl chromosome?
A. You pull down its genes.

(x+y)(x+y)
(x^2 + 2xy + y^2)
Curses foil'd again

There's another variation of that here. It takes place in Texas and it's her mother that's watching...

I liked Wheatwine's joke about the ping pong paddle too - I know a similar one about a lighthouse keeper, but I won't bore you with it.

opb, I have another joke, about a French letter, that is similar to the ping pong paddle joke. I will post it, IF at least one person replies on this board and request I do so.
Meanwhile, let me introduce a change of pace with a Christian joke:
A man was walking through the woods one day when he met a large bear. The man immediately decided it would be a good idea, to turn around and run away. The bear thought it would be fun to chase the man through the woods. Seeing he couldn't outrun the bear, the man climbed up a small tree. The bear decided to try a new game, shaking the tree hard enough so the man would fall out. Now this man was a Christian, so as he fell from the tree, he began to pray. The only prayer he could think of at the moment was, "Dear Lord, please let the bear be a Christian, too."
The bear reached out with his mighty forepaws, and caught the man before he could hit the ground. Then the bear prayed, "Heavenly Father, we thank you for the food we are about to receive, and please bless it in Jesus' name."

Landing a man on the moon? It's not exactly rocket science, is it?

Don't waste those apples! They don't grow on trees.

" ... so I told that useless doctor he could take his suppositories and he could stick them up his arse!"

"They've got such a lovely graveyard at St Mark's. I hope to be buried there myself, if I'm spared."