"Noone" bothers me. Am I alone?

Or, even better: 'No one person can proclaim that no one is innocent of this offence ... ' without that unnecessary little hyphen (which most grammar sites that I have checked say is incorrect but becoming more common). Or, is that more of a British thing?

What do THEY know about the English language?

I'm looking for solutions and I see none.

I'm glad bendover always uses no one - even for spanking occurrences, presumably.

Yes, noone is plain wrong and silly because it would be pronounced noon. Mind you, there are those who pronounced noun as noon.

High Noone: Do not forsake me, Omar darling, or there'll be noone here.

It is because of the double "O" sound. That changes to an "oo" as in "school" or "noon". "Anyone" and Someone" don't have that same Phonic sound.

"Cheap thrills," hmmmm?

To quote Colonel Nathan Jessip [played by Jack Nicholson], "Is there another kind?" --C.K.

Jools:

"In all seriousness tho, what Fi has exampled is totally true and totally grammatically correct."

I don't know but is "exampled" really a real word? Okay, I'm no English Major but I would have expected the use of "exemplified". I have the feeling I'm gonna learn something here very soon.

Okay, I've been called a dumbass before and sometimes I think that's true. Other times I think it takes one to noone. Sometimes, however, nobody just doesn't fit and noone does. So no one it is now.

Thanks to all ...

No - to use 'exemplified' here would mean that Fi herself was the shining example. (She is, of course, but not in this particular case.) My Collins English Dictionary accepts 'example' as a verb as well as a noun, and English has a long and wonderfully flexible history, reaching back to Shakespeare and beyond, of turning one part of speech into another.

On the vexed question of hyphenating or not, how about 'co-operative' vs 'cooperative'? I prefer the former, but I get the impression the unhyphenated version is taking over.

Which should be pronounced Cooper a tiv, but you're right, that is getting commoner.

I don't agree that noone is grammatical. It's perfectly logical, but not normal practice. As the grammatical expert Fowler pointed out, "these are them" breaches grammatical rules (by them, it should be "these are they") but no-one says that so it isn't right. Moreover, grammar exists to make meaning clear and noone is confusing when no-one is clear.

The implication of the dependence of grammar on usage is that there is a kind of democracy in these things. So mobilise the vote. Never use noone, canvass your friends not to use it and challenge it when it is used. Then noone will use it.

Interestingly, this American-biased spellcheck, which thinks I should write "mobilize" not "mobilise", is indicating disapproval of "noone". Perhaps the Atlantic alliance is not yer dead in the face of a new and insidious threat.

I would have used "illustrated."