Encouraging domestic abuse.

Being new to the site it may well be that my topic has been discussed to death at one time or other, or may be seen to be trite. Anyway. This week is Domestic Abuse Week in the UK. The object being to raise awareness of the prevalence of this kind of violence. What I'm thinking about is the effect that our writing and reading has upon the situation. Whatever way one looks at it, spanking, caning, paddling etc. is a form of violence, whether consenual or not. A battered wife who continues in the household may be said to be consenting I suppose. Although fear plays a big part, as does low self-esteem. However, does our writing - funny or not - encourage the batterer, giving him the feeling that society approves his action? Or are we providing an outlet for agression in our readers thus making them less likely to commit the violence on a partner? I imagine that this also applies to female on male abuse. Or even same sex. Anyway, I'm interested in other's views. If, as I say, this subject has not been talked out. Thanks Nancy Wing.

Are you saying you think men/women who engage in genuine domestic violence are on this site reading spanking stories?

I wouldn't think so myself.

I read a lot of crime/psychological thrillers but I haven't killed anyone... yet!

People who are going to be violent are violent because of something in their psyche not because they read a story or book... That is my opinion anyway. They usually neither need or want society's approval and even if they did I don't see they would get it here.

Nope sorry, I just can't see it...

If it were between me or my husband who was more likely to be violent to someone, not each other, it would def be me not him even though he is the spanker in our relationship. I have a temper, he doesn't *shrugs* Maybe I've validated too many spanking stories and should be retired off

I have struggled with this issue myself in the past. Regarded my fascination with spanking as a shameful secret. But after immersing myself in many Net sites on the subject I have resolved a lot of these feelings, through learning more about the subject, and myself.
There are, I am sure, those who would disagree, but I do not feel that consensual spanking relationships between adults constitute the kind of domestic violence we all oppose. Nor does it mean male supremacy. I reached that conclusion when I encountered a posting where someone had a Gloria Steinem quote in her Signature. She felt comfortable with feminist philosophy and her spanking interests.
Not to say that an abuser would not spank or beat his partner on the buttocks despite her protests, perhaps moving on later to worse violence. But somehow I doubt that many women show up at a battered women's shelter with no more than a red bottom. Bad facial and other bruises, broken bones, and even stab and gunshot wounds would be more likely(and are seen by anti- domesttic violence advocates on victims).
We do live in a different world. In R/L a John Wayne in McLintock type of nonconsensual spanking is not acceptable. On the other hand if a couple mutually agreed to re-create it in a roleplay, thats another matter entirely.
I thimk we can all distinguish between fantasy and real life, and between consensual kinky play and abuse.

There's a huge difference between games between consenting adults and domestic abuse... But I'll admit that I sometimes think that the line gets blurred when couples have 24/7 domestic discipline relationships. Then again, every relationship is different and what works for one might not work for another.

Goodgulf

Thanks for your responses - helps a bit. Trouble is that I remember my school days in the thirties. Then it was normal for children to be caned and slapped by their elders and betters (so-called) teachers. In my case I was caned on both hands at age five. One just accepted that this was how things were - in other words, how society behaved. If a potential abuser reads our stories do they feel that society is accepting of the infliction of pain? We don't, but do they? I'm not so sure that we live in a different world from the abuser. If one in three households in this country contain abuse, if most murders are done in the family, if a quarter of the teenage boys think it normal to slap their girl friend around. Then I'm sure that many of these guys do read what we write. It may be though, as I say, that many of them get the violence out of their systems by reading and turning it into fantasy.

No the mere thought of being violent to a woman or even of spanking someone unwilling to be spanked is a disturbing one. I think people into reading spanking literature are if anything, more likely to be thoughtful and sensitive to their partners needs than the ordinary person picked at random.

I am a victim of domestic violence.

I was living with a women in a house with six people at the time and the other five of us had noticed a distinct tendency of my girl friend to react with violence to things she didn't like and one night it erupted into a full blown assault. I have scars on my right calf to show were she continually kicked me. Needless to say I vacated house and relationship same-day. My point in revealing this sorry episode is to mainly thank PinkAngel for stating that many domestic assaults are perpetrated by women. About a third, in fact, according to the best info. I have. And I can assure everyone that I have had reason to do the research.

PinkAngel, redskinluver, and GoodGulf are all correct in saying that this type of violence has no connection with Porn or Erotica. It has been clinically shown CLEARLY that such people are already predisposed to violence, and porn or erotica in no way reinforces what is already there. PinkAngel's (bless you my dear) comment regarding the empirical evidence just reinforces the assertion. If erotica such as this site provides were the cause of such violence; BILLIONS of humans would have committed it over all the long history of man. Didn't happen! Doesn't happen now!

As to all us kinksters. I have and am still deeply involved in kink/sex positive issues. I know of no one who has had to come to terms with the darker side of their libido who has not had their moments of doubt as to their sanity. It took me about three years in the late seventies to work this through for myself. The difference between us and the violent is that we in fact 'worked it through' and set boundaries for ourselves. The violent just react. And keep reacting till somebody stops them. It might interest some to know that the laws of Washington State now (not then) require the police to make a determination on the spot as to who initiated the assault and that person, regardless of gender, goes strait to jail for at least 24 hours. This 'time out' has resulted in a reduction of domestic assault cases by about 40% in my area.

Nibra. It is my opinion that corporal punishment went out of style due to the abuses that you mentioned. Most now think that the abuses way out weigh the benefits. They may be right. I'm personally unsure about this issue. But. It is a very different issue from adults indulging their fantasies through the dark side of our libidos.

I would encourage anyone who is interested to seek out your local sex positive advocates; either on line or in person.

One more point. Beware the extreme righties and their allies; the Dworkinite feminists who advocate an anti porn/erotic line. They have an agenda that is not based on facts. They really like to use this line as a club. Look carefully at methodology and funding before you take anyone's study as legitimate. We all know that you can 'buy' facts in our day and age.

Sorry to be so long winded on this issue but it is close to my heart and I have done my homework here. I would love it if more members were to throw their forty pounds or ten cents in on this thread. This is one that needs to be addressed not ignored.

Thanks. Grin!

Please take a trip to your closest public library, and then randomly sample books from the fiction stacks. You will find stories of war, rape, murder, thievery, betrayal, horror, violence of all kinds... In fact, you have to really hunt hard to find a fiction book that fails to depict some type of mayhem or terrible human behavior.

Now that you have a good idea of what's in the books, look around at the people in the library; the ones who like to read those books. Do you feel safe? Of course you do! Just because those nice folks read books, it doesn't mean they do the stuff that's in them. I like a good war book myself, but I haven't shot at anyone yet.

You see, fiction is fiction. Fiction isn't real life, and few folks confuse the two.

In my preinternet days, haunting libraries andnewstands, I was shameless in searching for spanking referencces, child rearing books, Saturday Evening Post, romance magazines favored by teenage girls, dictionaries, anything which might feed my lust.OneareaI looked into was, not surprisingly, works on the abuse of spouses. Nothing, nada, zip. There were plenty of chokings, scaldings, broken limbs, and worse, but I could find no references to spanking. It was/is apparently an activity too tameand controlled for abusers.
I would also like to second the thoughts of PinkAngel. Why do those who worry about the effects on the rate of spousal abuse brought on by spanking writers never worry about the efffect of Agatha Christie on the homicide rate?

Interesting topic of discussion, reminds me of the age old "erotica vs pornography" conundrum. I absolutely agree that spanking stories can encourage domestic abuse in those predisposed to violence, just as pornography has been proven to encourage sexual abuse in those same kind of sick individuals. There may be a clear and distinct line between the two to those of us who engage in these kind of intense sexual escapades, but it doesn't mean that same line can't be blurred completely when viewed by a psychopath. Look at all of the so called "dom/masters" that proliferate on alternate dating websites like alt.com - majority of these whackjobs are pitiful local yokels who fancy themselves as being able to summon up their own personal "sex slave" - a willing and nubile submissive woman who will perform non-stop sexual favors on them for free. Where do you think they get the idea in the first place?