Where are the boys?

Oh yesssssss...

Tongue in cheek, but if 90 per cent of men are kinky, then in a male-dominated society who is it that defines what is kinky? Is kinky not just normal?

Actually that a good question, and probably one asked in the spirit of humor. But the actual answer is a sad one:

Too often, it's either the guy wearing the clerical collar, or the politician/bureaucrat who sits in his ivory tower and makes laws intended for others to obey.

Man after my own heart!

What about women? Any proposals from our lady members?

Yeah, 90% of men are kinky, and the other 10% are lying The reason it wouldn't just be called 'normal' is because most women are vanilla, I guess, and as a rule it's the vanilla partner who determines the amount of kinkiness that takes place. (Man I feel so bad for men sometimes...)

CS, yessss, it's easy to lie with statistics -- but it's a lot easier to lie without them! That book (Billion wicked thoughts) is currently the best enormous study we have on human sexuality; up til then we had been using that 1950s Kinsey study made up of a small sample of middle-aged white Midwestern men.

Also, I should clarify that I was referring to d/s preferences in bed, not everyday behaviour in everyday life. You can be sub in bed and not at all in real life (ex. Bill Clinton).

Well, I did manage to stumble across this part of the "Spanking Library" online video site:

https://www.spankinglibrary.com/store.php?id=121

Of course, the 'boys' are supposedly in their late teens, and admittedly their feminine spankers sometimes don't look quite as "maternal" (perhaps early-middle-aged yet still attractive) as you would prefer (and myself too) in terms of appearance, but it does demonstrate at least some appeal for the concept of boyish males being spanked by 'older' women.

I have an "F/M spanking preview tape" from Pacific Force, around a couple decades old, and two of the videotapes previewed feature a mature, plump fortyish woman very soundly spanking her immature 'nephew,' who appears to be in the 18-20-years range in age--those scenes were done correctly, I'd venture.

Given my F/M tendencies I don't view too many M/F videos, but if the spanked female has an appealing enough derriere I'll take a look; I also generally react to the male spankers of young ladies on video as egotistical "macho jackasses," no matter how much 'justification' is given for the punishment being portrayed nor how calmly the discipline is administered. (The guy being physically superior to the woman he's spanking, even if she cooperates completely in being chastised, contributes greatly to this perception of bullying on my part, one which I wouldn't have in viewing a similar F/F video.)

Why is F/F spanking action so appealing to many masculine spankophiles? There are typically twice as many attractive females involved, that's my reasoning...

--C.K.

FWIW, even as someone who is into M/F, I think most of the male spankers of girls come off as egotistical macho jackasses too, and I don't like to watch them. The problem is with the films themselves, not with liking M/F. (F/F does nothing for me, but I totally get why guys might prefer watching that.) Every time I've seen an M/F video I've thought "that guy sucks at it, my tops have been much better." But I would have never wanted any of it to end up online.

It also presents the viewer with two simultaneous fantasies. Being the spanker and the spankee in the pairing are both appealing.

Kinsey's study also made use of men in prison, including sex offenders, so that may have, shall we say, skewed the results a bit...

Ew, I didn't know that

We really need way more data on this kind of thing in general, but very few researchers are willing to make it their career and become known as the kink experts. They'd be studying things everyone wants to know about, but end up not being taken seriously as academics ("suuuuure you're studying kink for science..."). An unfortunate catch-22.