Stylizing Dialogue

So here's a question for all of my fellow authors out there. Let's say I'm writing some dialogue between two characters, and I want to have one of them drag out the sound of a word, should I just do it phonetically?

For instance, if I wanted to make someone sound whiny like this,

"Come ooooooooon alreadyyyyy!" she moaned while stomping her foot.

I know that doing that probably wouldn't fly in a "real" book, and I for the most part try to adhere to proper grammar and syntax as much as possible, but at the same time I also think that creative writing is NOT the same thing as technical writing. I personally feel like you can do a lot to control the pacing of a story, and the reader's mood, by doing things like tacking on extra letters in a word to convey them as being dragged out.

What do yal think?

I don't have an issue with it, and I have seen similar things done in 'real' books, to emphasise a mood or even a mode of speech. It gets things across very successfully.

An occasional use of it is probably okay, but I find it extremely irritating, especially in large doses. In your example, why not just say, "Come on already!" she whined while stomping her foot.

And, by the way, it's spelled "y'all".

Spoken like a true yankee. :p

For a long time, in my writing, I had tended not only to do the drawn out phonetic thing on such words, but also used the insertion of ellipses (...) to show pauses, and the "ums" and "ers" that that tend to be sprinkled throughout real speech. I've decided that, especially when overused (some people would, no doubt, say used at all), they tend to detract from a story (as FiBlue has pointed out). As a result, I try to be conscious of minimizing the inclusion of all three, trying instead to describe the spoken delivery, such as by "he said hesitantly," or "she whined." Perhaps it's a just lack of skill on my part, but I find that I can't eliminate the use of such devices entirely, just as I can't totally avoid using onomatopoe-ic words (did I just coin the adjective form?) such as "smack" or "whack," despite my attempts to limit their use. If you compared my earlier work with my later work, I think you'd agree that the latter is better due to my attention to this detail (not that I'm asking anybody to actually DO that).

I'm with FIBlue. I find it irritating and amateurish. Creative writing is a world apart from technical writing, but that shouldn't prohibit anyone from upping the ante and writing a meaningful sentence by using appropriate words to convey the pervading tone/mood.

Each to their own of course, but that's my personal opine.

I agree with Flopsy (wouldn't dare otherwise) and FiBlue.

It has similarities with the regular use of the "F***" word, which at one time was considered very bad form but is now used so frequently that it has lost its power to shock. The main offenders are so-called pop stars, third rate soap actors and BBC presenters.

Perhaps we could call upon Miss Thrashbottom to advise those of us who might be uncertain as to the correct form of writing to use.

I'm with Fi and Flopsy on this one: I find it irritating and lazy. Even more so when it's the wrong letter that's stretched: "'Pleaseeeeeee!' she begged." There are better ways of indicating it.


According to the OED, Rick, 'onomatopoeic' has been around since at least 1860. So no, I don't think you can claim that one....

Dang. I'm gonna have to go work on some others. Billy S is still so (not soooooooooo) far ahead of me.

I agree with FiBlue and Flopsy as well. I do the dragging it out in my spanking dialogue at times. Such as "I'm sorrrryyyy! Owwwww!" And such. However dragging out several words in just plain dialogue FiBlue has it right.

"Come on Already," Sharon whined, dragging out the words at length.

Descriptive data along with the tag line works better after that form of dialogue.