Born at the Wrong Time?

A very interesting topic here as pointed out above several times. I'm 58 and just like almost everyone else, have been interested in spanking ever since I can remember and that goes back to pre school prior to kinder garden. My interest has always been in girls being spanked and for me the more realistic the better. I grew up in an age when spanking of children was well accepted and practiced by many parents. Spanking in schools was also still practiced even in California where I grew up and still live. They still gave swats in Junior High (1967-1970) when I attended but only boys. Girls were not paddled.

I got my share growing up with dad's belt, never bare bottom always over jeans or pajamas if I was already in bed when he came home. I don't feel any connection between my few spankings and my interest in it. For me the most exciting thing is the "realistic" scenario of a teenage girl being disciplined for trouble she got into either at home or at school, and for those who don't think this still happens, let me assure you it does. For example my made up story (well partially made up) about the boy looking through the girl next doors side window as she is given a sound strapping by her father could probably be considered more fact than fiction back in the mid to late 1960's when the story takes place. Would the girl have been completely nude, maybe, if she were strapped right before or after a bath or shower.

I have also come out of the closet so to speak. Several of my vanilla friends know about my presence here in the library as well as my participation on several forums. I haven't told everybody, like others here, you pick and choose who you can talk about this stuff with and who you can't. My buddies that do know also get a kick out of some of the stories I tell them. You do have to be careful though. Talking about this to the wrong people could go very south! If I feel comfortable with someone I'm not afraid to discuss my "spanking interests" with them but I do have to get to the point of gaging whether or not this person wants to hear about it or not. Well, that's my two cents on the subject. Interesting topic.

[quote=Minidancer]If anyone stopped liking or loving me because i enjoy being spanked....then, in my opinion, they can't have truly liked or loved me in the first place.[/quote
At the risk of sounding sexist, I believe only a female could say this! ( No offence MD)
I can assure you that my family love me, as I love them. But do you really think that they, who see me as the guy to come to when they have problems...the man who has experienced more than them and whom they have always regarded as the senior and most reliable member of the family, but who actually wants to have his bottom smacked like a naughty little boy, can still still see me as a strong member of the family???
Or would they be disgusted , disillusioned, perhaps dismayed and almost certainly unsure about their feelings toward me.
As I grew up through the 70's and 80's the majority of spanking material was M/F and I had to pay extra for, and look harder for M/F material.
Now, this is absolutely sexist, but I make no apology for saying it...it has always been more acceptable for a man to spank a woman than for a woman to spank a man.
Even now, there are far, far more M/F sites than there are F/M sites.
It is still therefore harder for a man to out himself than I suspect (but am not certain of) a woman.
And I suspect harder for their loved ones to see them in the same light.

Nomad77, I, like you, hinted to my wife and got the could shoulder so I know what you mean.
The funny thing is that we can both be watching TV and a spanking or mention of spanking can come up and there's nothing there...not a hint or a smile or even a comment!!!
I must admit that I find that extremely uncomfortable...she, however appears totally unperturbed.
As for you're opinion that it seems to be more acceptable to be the spanked than the spanker I have to say that it's completely understandable.
The spankee may appear to be absolutely against the idea and the spanker then appear to be the villain but of course the victim is actually the instigator and ultimately the real boss.
You as a top must have a willing victim but the fantasy only works if that doesn't appear to be the case.
In all of the mainstream TV programmes that I've seen, the bottom is actually asking to be spanked and the top is being charmed into carrying out the spanking.
Therefore it looks as if the bottom is good and the top is bad...but not really...and that's how it works.
So don't worry my friend...as long as you're a loving and understanding top, we in the scene will support you all the way.

"The funny thing is that we can both be watching TV and a spanking or mention of spanking can come up and there's nothing there...not a hint or a smile or even a comment!!!"

With me it is otherwise. My wife is not into it. We used to play but her heart was never there. Very strong woman, very feminist, we have a very equal partnership. She could certainly never play any kind of game that suggested male domination.

Years ago, she opened, by accident, a letter addressed to me, with joining instructions for a spanking dinner party to be held that evening. She was not amused. I took my courage in both hands and said that as I had paid I was still going. It cost me a heavy gold bracelet and the loss of all spanking privileges, for ever.

But she is very aware of my predilections and we would definitely laugh about any mention in the media or she might comment, friendlily on my interest in a shapely rear, ahead, on the street; even if I hadn't noticed it. I keep trying to regain those privileges but so far, twenty years later, without success. I might in bed decide to swat an imaginary mosquito, conveniently placed. She knows what I am doing, more laughter.

Recently I noticed that amongst our collection of art films on DVD we had "Closely Observed Trains" the Czech masterpiece with the lovely scene where the stationmaster bends the beautiful young booking clerk over her desk, lowers her knickers and uses inkpad stamps to decorate her bottom. Her mother sees it and takes her to the police and then to the magistrates where she has to bend to exhibit the evidence.

I asked whether she had seen it. "It's the one with the lovely scene.........." She said she hadn't and suggested that she wouldn't want to. That won't stop us watching it sometime and much mirth will ensue.

On the main topic, I put increasing openness down, to a large extent, to the success of 50 Shades. It may not have been a brilliant book but so many women read it (I read a comment recently--"at that time, on the train on the way to work, 75% of the female passengers were reading spanking porn") and if they didn't, they know what it was about. I've found it very useful as a way of gauging interest in the subject. I can tell complete stranger (women) that as well as my straight writing, easy to mention, I also write erotica. That normally piques interest and produces the question "What sort?". To that the answer is always, "Like 50 Shades only sexier." Their reaction to that is very revealing.

I have a number of female friends who are very much aware of my interest and a few male friends who know. Some have known since schooldays. Some have only learned recently and largely because I have told them of my writing. (My wife still doesn't know and I won't tell her until the royalties start flooding in!). Despite earlier comments (above in this thread) I think there is now no problem at all in confessing to enjoying spanking the female bottom. It's just seen as another variety of masculinity. I suspect however that it would be much harder for the male spankee. Shows how fixed we still are in traditional views of male/female roles.

I must however say that I am a very confident person who enjoys being outrageous so perhaps it's easier for me to "come out" that it would be for some others.

Geoffrey Stirling.

In some basic sense this is once again the nature versus nurture argument and, after years of experience and reading both online and off, I am convinced that nature is the heavier side of the balance by a good part. Over and over we hear, this is just who I am; nature. And rarely do we hear "this I learned to love because it was nurtured in me growing up." There are other aspects of human sexuality which have different balances of nature and nurture and we are now coming to understand that also in many of these predilections and/or fetishes nature is the dominant source, not nurture. If you buy into that premise you begin to understand how difficult it can be to bring a loved vanilla into full partnership. A vanilla who loves can change and grow with nurturing but will never have the root of nature. Many of us who are married to vanillas and still have a happy spanking sex life have seen it, accept it, and work successfully with it.

My wife is probably the only person outside of online who knows about my enjoyment of spanking. She's largely vanilla, but there are aspects of it she enjoys as well. She's a member of an online forum where they were discussing a spanking scene in a TV show and they found it unbelievable because the character being spanked had never shown any outward interest in it before, but was getting off on it in the show. My wife didn't say anything, but did find it amusing that so many people held that view, because she thought of me as an example. No one knows about me and until I told her when we first started dating (we'd known each other as friends for years before that) she never even suspected. In terms of modern media there seems to be more mention of it as acceptable between consenting adults than I can remember before. It is often played for laughs, true, but there's a wider acceptance of it I believe.

Tysout, I agree whole heartedly that it is far easier for a girl to admit to family and friends that she likes to be spanked.....so definitely no offence taken, hunni. Whether it's 'fair' or not, women are the weaker/submissive sex (hoorah!) so it is more natural for us to be told what to do and disciplined. Holding our hand up and admitting we actually enjoy it is, therefore, a much smaller step.

i'm 22 yo, from israel, and i never was spanked as a child. and i am did not know it existed elsewhere in the world. but somehow its been my biggest desire. its not common here in israel, and its not part of the culture. only as a grown up i discover that its pretty big subculture. my hebrew its better

This rings a bell with me as well. I am 61, am have been fascinated my spanking since I was 10 or 11, or perhaps even younger. My wife is vanilla, not at all into it. In years past I used to feel highly uncomfortable when a mainstream spanking reference/joke/on-screen swat or two appeared unexpectedly. Fascinated, but with anyone else in the room watching with me, I felt out of place or embarrassed.

In recent years I'm somewhat more at ease on these occasions, though I still squirm a little.
Though I've done my share of talking about it over the years with other spankos, I've never been able to broach the subject to anyone who I did not know for sure was TTWD.