Police search for teenage one-swatter

Agreed it is not acceptable but it is not the crime of the century either! Maybe Carlisle is a particularly law abiding place and the local bobby has time to patrol around on his ancient bicycle looking for likely juvenile bottom smackers.

I think in view of the boys age we should not take it quite as seriously as the Cumbrian or even the Cuban police. I do take on board what you are saying Rosie. A woman is entitled to walk down the street without being molested. I certainly wouldn't let my dearly beloved suffer such treatment from some spotty little herbert. However as she possesses a mean right hook herself I am sure I wouldn't have to get involved other than to administer first aid to the lad!

I think Rosie is quite correct. Nonetheless I do feel that there is a story in there somewhere ...

Though I have no doubt of its authenticity, Phil K's initial post could have easily been read, word for word, by John Cleese or Eric Idle as the beginning of a Monty Python sketch. Perhaps preceded by "and now for something completely different."

He? PCs can be either sex nowadays. I must resist a story coming on.

As for spellchecks, if an American spellcheck thinks Cumbria is Cuba I'm surprised the Lake District hasn't been nuked. These things are surprisingly ignorant. The word "disempower" (take power away from) is of recent coinage but quite common in discussion on public services, politics and so on. I used it in a sentence like "some bureaucracies disempower citizens" and my spellcheck objected to disempower and offered just one correction: "disembowel".

Wouldn't you really rather spank him? I mean right there, in front of his mates and everyone?

This sounds like a stunt Benny Hill would have done on his show.

The Georgia Satellites said it musically: "Keep you hands to yourself."

There's nothing cute about a girl being swatted by some ill-mannered jerk on a bike while his friends laugh.

Don't think anyone was suggesting it was 'cute', KDP - just that calling out the local constabulary to hunt down the malefactor seems a little excessive....

Meanwhile, I've since learned that a 63-year-old man in Morecambe, Lancashire (US spellcheck - Morocco?), was given six weeks in jail for feeding the pigeons....

The bastard!

Who knows? Maybe he was feeding them Uranium?