Is spanking a secret in your relationship ?

Just wondered how many people on LSF are in relationships where their partner is unaware of their interest in spanking ? I have spoken to my wife about spanking and she has lightly spanked me a few times but she is not into it. So now I am on a number of web sites and meet up with guys for my spanking pleasure. I would like to meet ladies but this seems pretty difficult to arrange unless you pay a pro. I also read a lot of stories on here and other sites, mainly F/m or M/m. lesser extent M/f. She has no idea how much time I spend thinking or being on spanking websites/ How about others on here ? love to here about your situation.

Well, my wife is aware of my fascination with spanking the fairer sex for some time now. Even though I have gotten to spank that luscious, Latin bottom of her on a few occasions, I'm afraid she's really never been as I to as I am. She sees it clearly as foreplay and rarely lets me indulge. We've actually gotten into arguments about it because she doesn't get what spanking truly means to me and I will not force her to do so. I just don't feel like being made out to be some kind of freak just because I love to spank. There are different types of spankings, so not all are necessarily sexual, but they all are sensual when it comes to two or more consenting adults. Some love it for pleasure, while others need a release from stress, guilt, etc. A lot of trust involved in what we are into, Pete.

I'm single at the moment but I've had relationships where my spanking fetish was known about and shared, known about and not shared, and others where I never brought it up. The last group mostly made up of my earliest relationships where I was afraid to say anything for fear of scaring the women away. After having the good fortune to meet some women who were into spanking, I'm now always very up front about it once the relationship gets to a level where sex is involved.

Honesty is always the best policy and while spanking definitely makes things better sexually and things are much better in the bedroom when I'm with a woman who likes to be spanked, the spanking aspect itself doesn't make or break the relationship. My advice to you would be to have a candid and honest discussion with your wife about how you feel. Invite her to discuss her fetishes and let her know she can be fully open and honest with you about everything. Explore your fantasies together and hopefully you'll find one that works for both of you and keeps things exciting and satisfying in your sex life.

My wife knows of my kink, and has done for years, ever since I have known her. She has written it off as an embarrassing maladjustment and has blamed circumstances from the past for it.

Unfortunately, I cannot share my writings with her and any form of play is off the menu, for obvious reasons.

If I could fulfill one wish, it would be to be able to 'come out' without risking upsetting or alarming some of the most important people in my life. It is so frustrating having to satisfy this interest in the shadows, so to speak.

It is good to see that so many spankos are able to enjoy these things in their fullness. Long may you all enjoy that privilege.

Kind wishes to all

Nick

OTK & Lismore, you both have great and valid points here. I love my wife dearly and I wouldn't want to risk my relationship over my kink. It just sucks big time not being able to fully indulge and incorporate it into our relationship.

I decided quite a while back that, no matter how attracted I was to a girl, if she wasn't into being spanked (or at least prepared to give it a try) then there was no future for us as a couple. Luckily, far more girls than I'd ever have dared imagine seem to be partial to having their sweet bare bottoms warmed....

Phil, you are da man!!!!

it was a secret for a very very long time. It is no longer a secret, but my interest, desire, need... however is best to describe my feelings are not always understood. I don't blame my husband for not understanding though. I'm not sure I completely understand it most of the time, so I can't expect him to. Kind of like he can't expect me to understand his need for sitting on the couch yelling at the TV while a bunch of grown men fight over a ball and knock eachother around.

What I am most grateful for is that he does not judge or ridicule me about this desire, but is willing to help me figure it out and see what it is that intrigues me about spanking. I have discovered what I enjoy reading is not at all what I enjoy in real life!!!! I have said it before and I'll say it again. I know I am lucky to have a supportive husband! I am grateful everyday that we are together and hope we never lose that spark and respect we have for eachother.

Well said, Anorris

I kept it a secret even from myself for many years!
It slipped out one day, in an unguarded moment of intimacy with my husband and he laughed at first when I suggested he spank me! Once he realised I was serious we had several discussions and he agreed to try it. He took a while to "warm" to it, he was and still is afraid of really hurting me, even though I assure him he wont. I doubt he will ever take me as far as I would dare, but he most definitely is now "into it". He knows of my involvement here at lsf and fully supports it.
I feel really blessed in my relationship with my husband, he has been my best friend since we met and has been my mainstay throughout our marriage. I feel that the spanking desire being set free has also made me less inhibited than I was before admitting my kink, which is a definite benefit for him too!
I know how difficult it is to hide feelings and desires, so I really feel for those who can't share it with their partner. BUT, there are more important things in life to be thankful for, the love for another must overcome any differences, so lets keep up the loving and live in fantasy to bridge the gap.