A limerick

This is a non-spanking limerick, but I thought members might enjoy it. The other day my gf Maggie, who's a tour guide, told me she was giving a talk to an organisation called The American Ladies of Surrey. The name was so obviously the opening line of a limerick that I couldn't help improvising the following:

The American Ladies of Surrey
Are never expected to hurry;
The one time they do
Is en route for the loo
Just after they've eaten a curry.

My favourite limerick is:

There was a young fellow named Wyatt
Whose voice was exceedingly quiet.
And then one day it faded away ....

My favorite, heard way back when I was a wee lad:

A horny young locksmith named Shore
Had the hots for his favorite whore
When the cops came inside
With a true craftsman's pride
He was making a bolt for the door

there was a young plumber from leads
was plumbing his girl by the sea
she said stop your plumbing
I think someone is coming
said the plumber, still plumbing, it's me

http://www.oocities.org/dlandhill/dl-d/DL-a.html

V, thank you for that link. The very first limerick there had me laughing uncontrollably (possibly due the the fact that I'm full of beer).

Thanks, Virginia. But of course the plumber came from Leigh, not Leeds - much better rhyme.

Another of my favourites (not by me):

There was a young lady of Bude
Who stood in a queue in the nude,
And a man up the front
Said "(Sniff, sniff) I smell cunt."
Just like that! Right out loud! Bloody rude!

You're quite correct, Phil.

RikSpanks
V, thank you for that link. The very first limerick there had me laughing uncontrollably (possibly due the the fact that I'm full of beer).

thank google and watney's

There was an old hermit named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave,
Said he, "I admit"
"I'm a bit of a shit"
"But think of the money I save!"

I heard this with different middle lines:

Said a horny old hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave,
"I know it's disgusting
But she only needs dusting,
And think of the money I save."