A limerick

There was a young man from Dundee
Who got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked if it hurt, he said
"Not very much
It can do it again if it likes"

This is one I heard told by a young Brooke Shields on a Bob Hope special:

There was a lady who sunbathed quite nude,
on the beach where her clothing was strewed.
A man came along,
and unless I'm quite wrong,
You expected this line to be rude.

(Then Brooke looked at the camera, shook her head scolding, and said: "I am so disappointed in you.")

In the same spirit:

There was an old man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this should be
He replied, "Well, you see,
I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can."

I've just noticed that the topic next to this one is 'A spanko who doesn't like pain'. That would make a great line for a limerick - can anyone complete it?

Here's one:

A spanko who doesn't like pain
Said, "I wish I could stand in a plane"
To travel much faster
All the way to Alaska
And not sitting for days on a train.

And another:

A spanko who doesn't like pain
Thought spanking was truly the bane
Of his existence.
But his persistence
Lead him to believe he's insane.

And finally, here is one that cross references another post:

A spanko who doesn't like pain
Said "I can't say it any more plain
If you wish to beat
Me on my seat
Inject butt paste right into my veins."

Not by me, alas, but ingeniously rhymed and rather charmingly kink-related:

"Wow!" Charlotte Bronte said, "What a man!
He laid me face-down on the ottoman -
Now don't you and Emily
Go telling the femily,
But - he spanked me upon my bare bottom, Anne!"

Another in that same vein:

A foolish young man named Peter
While working on a broken gas heater
Struck a match for a light,
Was blown out of sight
Now the gas line and this poem both have a broken meter.

I've always liked this one:

The bustard's an exquisite fowl
With minimal reason to growl
He escapes what would be
Illegitimacy
By grace of a fortunate vowel