Unfair bonuses

PinkAngel

What's more, we're providing an environmentally friendly service ... because I sweep up all the hedgehog flavoured bits he scratches off and I sell 'em to the Hedgehog Flavoured Crisp Company.

Recycling - good for the planet.

I sent some hedgehog flavoured crisps to a friend in Africa who explained that hedgehogs looked a bit like porcupine.
Anyone got porcupine flavoured?

I can't write as many stories as some people because I actually do work for a bank.

However, when I do get the urge it means I can use a diamond-encrusted fountaon pen with a gold nib.

In a very serious matter that is possibly related to these sudden huge bonuses to the LSF management, I received a distressing phone call today from my banker. It seems that my usual monthly LSF royalty check failed to arrive.

I know I risk causing a problem bringing this to your attention is this public forum, since many of the ... lesser ... spanking authors aren't paid for their work, but you realize how distressing this sudden penury is for me.

Seems to coincide with the sudden acquisition of several addition horses, half a dozen snakes and a large number of spiders by one of the library admins. But as previously stated by myself in my "Statement" post I know nothing about it....

I saw one of your junior library staff members arrive at work in a brand new pink rolls royce the other day. This wouldn't usually worry me, after all it's up to you if you overpay your staff Februs, but my cheque hasn't arrived either!!

It was one baby horse, that was all. I didn't think anyone would notice if I borrowed the funds


Oh flops, you are sooooo norty! You know I wanted the pink one and you were having the purple one

I have been assured by the library purser that all wages will be paid... to me

Clearly a case of misappropiation of funds!!! Her Pinkness can't be trusted! She has clearly got the purser (does she mean bursar?) in her pocket?

I think you should employ me to keep an eye on things for you Februs. Firmness is the key in with dealing with staff. I think you would soon find my zero tolerance attitude will reap its own reward

Pink can't remember what she meant lol, she is not feeling very well today We had a bursar at my school, so yes let's go with that


I can be trusted... I can be trusted to eat all the salted crisps, drink all the whisky and to take the proverbial out of a rather large, blimp-like writist


Haha you wouldn't last a day in this office blimpy-bum... Flops and I would run rings around you and have you tearing your hair out

Well, I've now had time to consult our accountant who has informed me that royalty payments to the pair of you were calculated as follows:

Guy:
revenue generated: $0, royalty payment due: $0

blimp:
revenue generated: $0, royalty payment due: $0

If things don't pick up we're going to have to cut the assistant librarian's crisp allowance...