Reading through a lot of posts here...and struck by the fact, once again, that many members here were apparently never actually spanked as children. So, at the risk of evoking yet another round of shocked eye-rolls, I'll add my two-cents worth.
1) spanking is by specifically designed to cause pain WITHOUT leaving any permanent physical damage. That this happens to be safest when applied to a certain area of the anatomy adds, for some people, a sexual component with which (I'm assuming) most of the readers here are familiar to some extent, and without which one apparently cannot write good stories for this audience, no matter how realistic the spanking described may be. (And honestly, many stories here aren't realistic as punishments, but that's a different conversation).
2) spankings can be measured in severity by the time it takes for the lingering sensations to clear from the afflicted area. Minutes, hours, days - it'll rarely be weeks, but a good bruise takes that long to clear, even after one ceases to feel it. This is different for different people. Pain tolerance is different for different people. But if the spanking reaches a point of doing permanent damage (i.e. drawing blood, which would create a risk of a scar, or breaking bones) then it has left the realm of what a spanking is, what it's intended to be, and has become a brutality, an outrage, an abuse of propriety that any parent with a particle of natural affection could never, never, never even think of doing - would absolutely cringe with horror at the mere thought.
3) The insupportable intensity of pain (that makes someone cry out, etc) only lasts for a few minutes at best, and that is inflicted specifically to provide negative conditioning that works really, REALLY well, especially on children - OK, it worked on me, so I'd have NEVER dreamed of disrespecting a police officer, or a teacher, or any adult that ordered me to do anything - so I'd have never thought of bullying another child, or worse, physically assaulting them. I'm shocked sometimes at children today, but I understand natural cause and effect... (enough said).
What many people here think of as cruel may or may not be. Here's what you don't understand: parents who love their children want the best for those children: they want them to grow up to be sensible, productive members of society, which, skipping all the psychobabble, boils down to this: those children must learn to curb their own selfish interests, and to sacrifice their own interests for the greater good of others. That's ethics in a nutshell: do unto others as you would have them do unto you; or, love thy neighbor as thyself. Parents who love their children will do what they think is necessary to teach their children this one, most important point. Yes, they'll make mistakes. Yes, some children are handled better with different methods. But true abuse will only be present where love is lacking.
I honestly believe that you can measure severity only this way: does the parent love that child? A parent who loves his child would not, could not do real physical damage, though he/she may feel that a very stern punishment is needed. If the parent is in a paroxysm of rage, he oughtn't to stay in the same room with his child. But that doesn't mean that the parent shouldn't feel very unhappy, and let the children know that in most uncertain terms - how else might that child be prepared for real life, where giving free rein to all one's own selfish interests normally puts one in jail?
Last point: I don't believe a parent with true love for her child can take any sexual pleasure in punishing a child. I could be wrong on this, I don't know, and I suppose some people might find it different. But that's my opinion. |