That "50 Shades" book

I just read it. Has anyone else here done so? In case you just arrived from Mars, "50 Shades of Grey" is all the rage now. It is supposedly a book that puts BDSM into the mainstream. Hollywood has optioned it. Jennifer Love Hewitt will play Anastasia (don't bet the ranch that you'll see a smacking of Ms Hewitt's bare booty, though, even though there are 3 actual spanking scenes in the book).

The plot is simple. A young innocent girl, Ana, is sent to interview Christian Grey, a bazillionaire. She falls for him and he gets the hots for her. So far so good. But there's a catch. He wants her to sign this dom/sub discipline contract that allows him to control her life. He has to be in control. What's a girl to do? He's hot. He's rich. He'll give her stuff like cars and iPads. He has his own jet, helicopter, etc. All she has to do is agree that he's in control and give him permission to "punish" her if she disobeys. Ah, but that's the rub. She wants "truuue luuuvvv" not paddle whacks. A complex courtship ensues.

Is it any good? Is it hot? No and no. He probably looks like, oh, a young Richard Gere a la "Pretty Woman"" or "Breathless", but comes across as a petulant child. It's the rich-guy-sweeps-the-poor-girl-off-her-feet deal. Problem is, she comes across like Gidget. She's, get this--a twenty-one year old virgin who never even diddled herself! It's her 1st person present tense POV endlessly debating with herself as to whether he's hot enough to let him spank her. You can almost see the cartoon angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other arguing with each other.

It's implausible, preposterous, pretentious, and most of all, terminally silly. It also puts TTWD in a bad light because Grey is made to seem like damaged goods because he won't be "normal" and because he wants to "hurt her" by insisting on his right to punish her as his "sub". You want to scream "just sign the damn contract and take your licking. It's only a spanking and he'll screw your brains out afterwards and take you Paris in his private jet." Any girl on this board would say, "Honey, hand me the damn pen."

It started its life as a "Twilight" fan fiction until the author changed it. That's really all you need to know.

Hi! Just got back from Mars. Sounds like a dreadfully dull book, and ideal for a Hollywood blockbuster.

Whatever for?

This has just decided for me.... I have every intension of being in the minority, and NOT reading.

Me too! There's this place I can visit on the internet if I want to read about butt-whacking and such. It's got some great literature of that sort.

Ok, agreed it's bland and cliche-ridden, and to all us hardened (hah!) spankos it's hopelessly timid stuff. But at least Ms James writes with a certain degree of literacy (which puts her one up on Dan Brown). And given that it's clearly aimed at the vanilla female market (who I gather are buying it in droves) it may just make one or two of them think, "Hmm, maybe having my bottom spanked might be kind of sexy..." or "Perhaps I should try acting on those strange perverted thoughts I've been having all these years...." Which, from our kinky angle, is surely no bad thing?

If you're interested in the kind of woman that reads stuff like this, then sure. Personally, I find such tastes to be a major turn off.

That book is directly responsible for my situation being outed to a good neighbor friend. It started out innocently enough, but once enough knowing looks were exchanged between my Honey and me as my friend panted her way through raving about this 'new book that she can't put down'.... she eventually caught on that we knew more about the topic than most. Being a very open lady who loves outing me to trusted people, my Honey soon revealled the nature of our relationship. My neighbor/friend thought it was marvellous. Since my Honey is considerably younger than me and since I publicly appear very confident and even dominant to most people, finding out that not only was there spanking going on next door.....but that it was my butt being spanked........my friend was duly surprised and impressed by my Honey's unexpected but obviously firm, definite authority.

Over the course of about two weeks, the two women exchanged more and more information. My Honey would then come home to tell me what new additional tidbit had been revealled and what our friend's reaction was. Turns out my friend is now very mildly but also openly teasing me a bit about my situation when we are together. Nothing vulgar or overt...but more winking innuendo.

Of course it is all deliciously embarrassing........and all due to that book!

Might have to check the book out now. I haven't been on Mars, but I must at least be in a lunar orbit. Some women I work with were talking about how good the book was a couple weeks ago, said it was "erotic" but not specifically how. Now I almost want to read it just to get into a book discussion; you never know who might be hiding in a different closet in the same house!