The phrase "consensual humiliating spanking" would seem, in my mind, to be an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms. I consent to you spanking me because I want to be physically pained, experience emotional euphoria, psychological release and yes even a sort of shame. But I'm not really going to be humiliated in the way most of us would define humiliation. I've consented to something I enjoy, or you enjoy or we both enjoy or one of us is getting paid for. Who would "consent" to something that would cause them true humiliation - avoiding pain, in it's most inclusive definition, is a human's most basic mental need, it's how we survive (survival, of course, is a universal human instinct) - we're all about avoiding pain. Consensual spanking is less painful for those involved than the alternative - more joyful, more healing, more pleasurable, at times more profitable or one wouldn't consent. Spanking is my fetish, it turns me on sexually, but it's also my neurosis it protects me from worse pain - guilt, rejection, true humiliation. People become clean "freaks', as painful as that is in a judgmental society, because it protects them from the alternative which is the greater, unacceptable pain that comes from exposure to germs or from the public humiliation of being seen as untidy. I argue that one can not be truly humiliated by consensual spanking because its reward outweighs the shame or you wouldn't consent to it - you couldn't. On the other hand, discipline spanking of an offspring, student, significant other, sibling is benefited by the additional element of humiliation. My admittedly clouded opinion I think is fact but for the benefit of this post I will merely comment on humiliation as a part of my fetish turn-on. I like humiliation in various forms these would include the spanking being witness, particularly by friends, little brothers or sisters, crushes and rivals. Any part of the experience that makes the spankee feel less "adult" is also welcomed. That kind of humiliation might come from corner time, language used for scolding, physical positioning of the spanking, role-reversal of participants and/or dress or undress of the one being spanked. Added humiliation may also be experienced when the person being spanked is made to feel "silly" by the convertible being used for the punishment such as their own hairbrush, toy paddle or kitchen spoon. Being spanked by someone you consider your peer or even an underling is certainly cause for humiliation even if you wouldn't consider it true role-reversal. |