The Real Story of the Castle and Sir Galahad

Skimming through my favourites last night, I came across this story by Quillis that he posted back in October 2009, and re-read it with great pleasure. It's an account of what should have happened in that famous scene in 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' where Sir Galahad (Michael Palin) finds himself in a castle full of nubile young women who all clamour for "A spanking! A spanking! And then - the oral sex!"

In the movie, alas, he's dragged off by John Cleese's Sir Lancelot before he can act on this delicious prospect. But not, of course, in Quillis's version, told with all his customary teasing wit. To my surprise, it's only earned three comments in all these years. Check it out - and enjoy!

For anyone unfamiliar with the movie script:

Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like, and then spank me.
Nuns: And me. And me too. And me.
Dingo: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking. And after the spanking, the oral sex.
Galahad: Well, I could stay a bit longer.
[Sir Lancelot crashes in, grabs Galahad and rushes out of the castle]
Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's far too perilous.
Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.

mj2001

Whatever happened to Zoot? Naughty, naughty Zoot!?

Oh, Zoot was whom Dingo was urging Galahad to "spank well" in the first line of hers above!

I remember seeing this movie in college only with no idea it was a comedy and no idea about "British humor" and Monty Python. I actually went through half the movie thinking I had accidentally taken acid or something. Still ranks as one of the best comic movies of all time. Even without the spankings. Oh, and Zoot was hot! Thanks for the memories.

I was a kid who'd only arrived in England a year earlier when Monty Python came on television. Absolutely totally lost trying to make sense of them at the time, but grew to love and appreciate them later. And John Cleese's eulogy for Graham Chapman is still one of the funniest things I've ever heard:

https://www.funeralwise.com/plan/eulogy/chapman/

I watched 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' around 2010, with some of my friends. Back then I wasn't into spanking but still I found the scene hilarious. Compared to our generation (I was born in 1990) the movie is ancient and we missed few jokes as well. But still it was good fun.

Thanks Philk for mentioning the story. I'll read it now and later see if I can find the clip on YouTube.

I particularly like the ending, where in true scholarly style Quillis cites the 'sources' for his tale.

I just read Quillis´ story and I added my own comment. Hilarious. And a happier ending than in the original Monty Python version!

And now I found out what really happened to naughty Zoot!