How severe does a punishment spanking need to be?

When the spanking reaches the point where the spankee wishes it was over, that's when the fun ends and the punishment starts

Interesting question. As a school punishment, and if deserved, punishment should be firm, otherwise what is the point? Having been caned and slippered at school, the punishment was painful and left a lasting impression with cane stripes across my bottom lasting a week. The pain was just part of it, with the humiliation of on one occasion, being made to remove trousers and pants before made to bend over and suffering a drawn out caning. Firm, painful but not overly severe, and in my case almost certainly deserved. Another correspondent talked about a spankee wanting to explore something more severe and many many years ago I had a relationship with a lovely girl who loved being spanked, but had a desire to find out about what the cane felt like. I did not need to asked twice and acquired a cane. Initially I gave her her a very mild caning not wanting to cause undue pain. She complained called my cane strokes 'fly swots'. The six strokes that followed were at a very different level and set the standard for any go forward canings.

There are psychological factors as well; consider the same girl receiving two paddlings, both of a few swats over jeans. In one scenario, she's celebrating her birthday with her friends, she's relaxed, happy, she's had a drink or two, and she can treat her 'birthday paddling' as a bit of a joke.

In the alternative scenario, she's called out of class, in front of all her classmates, to the Head's office - and everyone knows what that means! Once there, she is left to wait for some time, while her imagination generates possible punishments. If there are other miscreants to be dealt with, she may hear them 'getting it' and see their tear-stained faces as they exit, rubbing their bottoms. By the time she's called into the office, questioned, forced into admitting her misdeeds, lectured and scolded, the same number and intensity of swats she laughed off in scenario one, could reduce her to tears in scenario two.

I remember one story (did I read it here? I can't remember) about a couple arriving at a hotel for a fetish weekend. The wife did something that displeased the husband, and he threatened NOT to spank her - he'd take down her panties, put her over his knee in the middle of the hotel lobby, and publicly not spank her! And he'd keep on not spanking her until everyone knew that she didn't deserve a good, sound spanking! What a punishment!