What an interesting debate.
I can identify with the opening statement, inasmuch as there was a time when I wanted very much to 'rid myself' of what I sometimes regarded as being the source of negative feelings that could so easily mutate into depression. If one's circumstances do not allow one to enjoy the activity within the scene that so many fortunate site-members are able to enjoy, any negative feelings can also be compounded by envy.
After struggling with this for years, with very occasional transgressions into 'play' with kind ladies, I decided that it was time to make a decision, one way or the other, then live with it.
I decided that TTWD are, for whatever reason, part and parcel of who I am and that if I make a conscious effort to drag myself away, I am going to achieve the very opposite since those TTWD will still occupy my thoughts.
I therefore decided to live out my longings, which are not restricted entirely to spanking, by creating characters who could enact them for me. This has not proved to be entirely effective in dealing with the pangs and occasional lapses into envy. But it has made the situation a lot easier.
Now, having recently returned to what I have come to regard as the best spanking-related Community on the 'Net, I believe I have struck the best balance available to somebody in my situation.
The upshot of all this is that I have come down on the side of the debate that supports the idea of simply acknowledging who we are and what makes us such people, then, like the yachtsman, using the forces at work to the best of our advantage, even when we are sailing into a headwind. There is usually a work-around for most problems.
I hope that JessicaK will find the peace of mind that will enable her to enjoy all aspects of her personality and life to the fullest degree possible. |