Would you change this?

As much pleasure, mental and physical, as this odd interest of ours has given me; as much as I've made some genuine friends here and elsewhere by means of it; as much as I reject the idea that it's in any way immoral or a defect - if I could erase this aspect of my sexuality I would. It's caused too much confusion for me, miscommunication and hidden disappointment in relationships, fear I'd be outed.

Do the esteemed members of the community share this? Feel the complete opposite? Describe themselves as ambivalent?

I recall printing out stories as a kid. The day my parents found my stash I wanted to die. An hour later I was rummaging through their drawers to find it. Do what you want...life is too short.

Jessica, I have had these feelings, that is an interest in spanking since I was 5 years old, that would be 1960, so a long time. I have never felt that it was a problem for me, however I have never put this aspect of my life out into the open either. Not until maybe 10 years ago or so because now, I just don't care. I have many vanilla friends who know about my interests in spanking but it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal.

I can't say that my spanking interest has really ever caused me any disappointments. My inability in recent years to meet other like minded women to share my interests with, i.e. play partners has but not the spanking interest itself. Although, even here I have passed the point of caring about that any more as well. I never had any feat that I would be outed. Like I said above, in recent years I outed myself.

Jessica, I know exactly how you feel about this because I've had the same internal struggle myself for decades. It is a big part of who of I am & I don't know what I'd be otherwise. The problem is that I'm married to a vanilla who I have only been able to indulge with on a very few occasions over our 14yr marriage. It's been pure agony at times because I really want to be more active with her in that aspect, but she just doesn't want anything to do with it. To to it off, she has a nice, pillowy, Latina booty that is made for hours of smacking. I can't keep my hands off of it & she knows why, but in regards to spanking more often, it's just not her thing. It can put a strain on a relationship which is why I wish at times I could be rid of this vice of mine. It's a constant struggle.

We cannot alter our race, sexuality or so many other things about ourselves, and why should we have to, even if we could

It may take us a while to learn to live happily with who and what we are, but from a personal perspective once i reached that stage, then had no wish, desire or intent to change.

I lived a false life now it is fulfilled, if that is not what others expect of me, then that's their problem not mine.

However others experiences may not and likely are not the same, so each has to make own decisions and judgement calls.

I share most (or all) of the fears and disappointments that you mention. But I don't know that I'd want to change. I feel like I've grown into having this secret now; I probably would have answered differently when I was younger. And there are, frankly, other things I'd change about myself first.

It can be tough for sure, especially in a vanilla world where so many others have their own desires they never talk about, but if we talk about ours they think we are the strange ones.

Sometimes life may be easier if something happened to me that make the whole desire to go away, but then that is not me, and I know others love me for the entire person I am, just like other love you for the person you are. Not just part of you, but all of you and that includes any and all kinks they may not know about as yet.

Hang in there and simply be you. We tend to me most happy when we try not to suppress our natural feelings and emotions. There is happiness in the world for all. Confusing yes, disappointment at times yes, but it is still you and that my friend is the best part about you and all of us.

I would not change anything in this regard, although I do find it frustrating. I am sure my kink controls other parts of my personality that makes other people like me and if I lost it I don't know what else I may lose.

CS

I kept my interest in spanking a secret for many years, even from my husband, never having any expectation of it breaking free. As I matured, it crept into the open, I guess because I lost many of my inhibitions, I confessed to my husband, who accepted, indulged and encouraged it, and we have never looked back. I felt free! No one else knows anything about our "kink" and I am rather glad about that as, although I am not ashamed of it, I would be mortified to have it exposed. Is that understandable?
I often wonder what my family, friends and colleagues would think if they discovered that I am a member of this site, especially as an author of spanking and erotic stories? I wish I had more courage to openly embrace my "interest", but quite honestly, I don't! It will (hopefully) remain a secret between my husband and I, and of course, all my friends here at lsf!
I don't regret the feelings I have, but it is sometimes a struggle, that's why we all need fantasy and the support available here, to survive, so long may it continue!

I have struggled with my interests, in fact, obsession with spanking my whole life! I have suppressed it, tried to ignore it and denied it for decades, it just won't go away. By practicing my obsession in private with my girlfriend, I feel completed in life, all the denying and suppressing was stressful and frustrating. Enjoy life and embrace your inner desires, as long as you are not rubbing it someone else's face, it's your and your spouse's business. Just make sure the walls are sound proof, you don't want to alarm the neighbors! LOL

This is a subject which has always interested me and I've considered the possibility of a "cure" in a couple of my stories. I don't personally feel any need for a cure, the fetish is such an integral part of who I am. What could possibly be more innocent and harmless than mild, consensual adult cp? I don't feel ashamed of it, but I've never been brave enough to be completely open about it, only to very close friends.