advice 18 yr old son wants online girl to move in.

Help, as a single mo I need advice. My son met a girl online who says she is from ohio, but goes to uni of Berkeley in California at age 17. She just had a baby from what she says was a rape from previous boyfriend. She told my son who has never had a girlfriend she loves him and wants to move here in my house. She says she can't find anyone to take the baby but she will get rid of it before she moves!? I told my son I needed to speak to her mom, but evidently she has a phobia about talking to anyone. Her roommate has as also had a baby and is the girlfriend of my sons best friend. Now supposedly 40th ed mom is texting me saying I am crazy for asking questions. Do I just need to hire an investigator or what? My ex will be no help.

Sorry for typos. Really not sure what to do. My son starts college locally in August. Scared will do something crazy.

With only the information presented my best advice would be to say "No" loudly and clearly and stick to your word. You need a lot more information and several months to consider the situation, or else you could get yourself into a lot of trouble you neither want or need.


This is only my opinion based on what I read, but after working with people over many years, most of whom has different types of problems that is the way I see this. Do as you think best, but please take time to think this through and do not do anything in a rush or without the proper background info.

CS

Hell no.

It's YOUR house, so no one can move in without your permission. In addition, she sounds like a hot mess already (she will "get rid of" the baby before she moves in? How?). Cal (the University of California at Berkeley) is the flagship of the California University system and is very difficult to get into and somehow I doubt a seventeen-year-old girl with a baby is going there. And why would she want to leave a prestigious university to move to Ohio and in with you and your son? The whole story stinks, frankly. I think the best thing for you is to consult with a lawyer to educate you on any potential liability issues if you let this girl into your home and tell your son to be sure and wear a condom EVERY TIME, just so there's no "accidental" pregnancies if she does show up (whether she moves in or not). You have my sympathies...

It all sounds fishy to me; any one of those facts would be a red flag. I would put my foot down and tell him it is out of the question. I'm sure you have tried to explain it to him, but kids that age don't tend to listen. He may very well strengthen his emotional bond with her because of your refusal though - forbidden love is such a romantic notion. You have to be prepared for that possibility. She sounds like a source of heartache for both you and your son, not to mention expense. If you allow her to get her foot in the door, I think it would be very difficult to get her out. Surely there are agencies that can help her more than you could. And why can't she go back home to her own mom?

Online romances are almost never what they appear to be. I find that is especially true when one of the parties isn't available for in person meeting, and even more so when one party is so mysterious as to not even be available on the phone.

Hell no!

I'd also say no. I'd also advise your son as gently as possible that he could be taken for a ride and to also remove himself from this relationship. Sounds like a scam to me.

Your house, your rules, so whatever you say is 'the unchallengeable law', and if i had to make the decision it would be, a very big and very definite NO.

There are warning alarm bells ringing from so many areas, it frankly feels like we would be awaiting for the unhappy ending.

Talking as someone who had their 'issues' as a teen, i would not welcome someone like her (or as i was) across the threshold of my home.

Regarding dealing with your son, and you being scared your son will do something crazy, you as his mother know him the best and will know the best way of getting your message across to him.

The above is only my personal opinion based upon the message you have posted. i wish you the best in your dealing with this situation, and hope matter is resolved to your satisfaction.

You didn't say how old your son is. I agree with all the previouss answers. NO is the word.