Real Punishment = sexual excitement?

There is a HUGE difference between punishment and erotic spankings. There is no way there is ANY sexual satisfaction in punishment for me at least. Maybe I am the minority here. I wish some people could just have one of my spankings sometime lol.

Christian,

That's probably because you take your punishment seriously, and so does your disciplinarian. I imagine there really doesn't have to be any erotic feelings after a punishment for some people, but perhaps the feeling they get that their conscience is now clear, they've paid their debt, and they're ready to move on. I would also imagine that if they didn't get any feeling at all of any kind, they wouldn't be into that kind of relationship. This also includes you.

You are 100% correct about that. I respect my wife's authority, because ultimately she is a lot smarter and more conservative than I am (while I on the other hand am quite happy to jump off the cliff with my friends lol). You describe it perfectly for me. My conscience is clear, my debt is cleared, my wife forgives me, and now we all can move on to the next adventure. To be perfectly honest, I love my wife so much that the guilt that I have disappointed her is actually the worst part. I would like to say the SPANKING is the worst, but that wouldn't be true. The spanking is my release back into her good graces where I belong. And so that is why I submit to it and accept it (as much as I am currently able to.. Still working on that). And so ultimately, I know I "need" it. I certainly don't "want" it by any means, but it does help tremendously. Now is there ANY part of what I just said that is erotic? No... It is all about forgiveness and absolution. And that is what results in a very happy and content home. At least it does for me. My wife's other submissive has different thoughts on the matter, but the end result is exactly the same. We are all very happy. What could be better than that? There are plenty of things besides spanking that cover the sexual excitement angle in our household lol. And one of them happens to be a very different sort of spanking. One would assume we could easily get confused about that, but the simple fact is our wife is quite adept at making sure we are not confused. And now I should be quiet before I reveal too much and get into trouble lol.

Regards,
Christian

Thanks, Christian and Bendover. A punishment spanking makes us regret our bad behaviour. To a large extent, it will achieve its purpose by making us feel guilty and ashamed, not only because it hurts. Sexual arousal is a side effect. I imagine a wise disciplinarian will neither reward nor punish it, but simply ignore it.

I want spanking and sex to be linked and prefer erotic spankings to punishment spankings. Let's face it, the tush is an errogenous zone for many and stimulation of that area leads to sexual desire. I am working on moving to plots that do not always rely on naughty deeds as the only reason for administering a spanking. Will I completely eliminate punishment spankings? of course not, no one would read my stories; my characters would become predictable and lackluster- those erotic writers of the 20s can get a little dry and tiresome. But I do enjoy narrating a long session of foreplay that leads to a sensual, arousing spanking containing delicious 'afters.' But I bet no one here has noticed that!
Islandcarol

I've written a story about a young woman who doesn't like painful punishments, but is excited at anticipating the conditions under which she receives it, and aroused at the aftereffects (finds the soreness erotic) when the pain subsides and her bottom cools down a bit. It's strictly from my imagination, but I hope that is a fairly realistic scenario.

Not really.

I find that real punishment - and I have played quite hard - isn't sexy at the time, at least not overtly so as if it's done properly the main endeavour is to cope with the pain and maybe move towards subspace; that doesn't mean that I won't be at all aroused, just that any arousal is incidental (and not over-welcome, if I'm honest).

Sexual arousal through spanking comes through my imagination at other times; I'm not sure whether real punishment enhances that or not as you can soon get blase about things r/l which were tremendously exciting when they had no immediate prospect of becoming reality!

That's interesting... and disappointing - that a theme in a number of my stories is not more realistic. From your comment, I suppose it must be more of a male fantasy – but a popular one based on comments on some of those stories. I suppose I could steer away from that if I want to make my stories more realistic. Or choose to perpetuate the myth to please readers with fantasies and tastes similar to my own.