Evolution of spanking fantasies

He doesn't destroy it - he buries it with the possibility of digging it back up.

I saw the ending as kind of happy. He still doesn't fit in with the boys, but the girls are willing to talk with him, let him hang around, etc because he has seen Miss Dottie.

Thank you Sammi for the thought provoking thread. I like the way you posed your questions and expressed your own ideas. Alef has referred to responses on this subject as confessions. I think answers to the most worthwhile questions often require confessions.

My first orientation was F/m. I spent my earliest years with women. I wanted love, intimacy and physicality. It seemed spanking, and it's aftercare provided that.

When my hormones kicked in, I became interested in girls. "Children" could sometimes get away with slap and tickle and other forms of touching.

I graduated to F/M and M/F. When I was a young man, I think I was open to almost any activity involving TTWD. My M/F activities have always been playful. My F/M needs have changed. I now seek atonement and catharsis within a loving, caring, relationship. But I can handle playful.

I too have always had “a passion for this thing of ours.” I believe it's in my nature. That's why I don't always think in terms of experiencing a “change in perspective," or having fantasies "evolve over time." Lately, I've been wondering if, rather than evolving, I'm just discovering more about myself? Something that's always been there. It's obvious that at least my thinking has evolved. I recognize the contradiction.

warthur mentioned that our fantasies may evolve and become richer. I don't disagree. But it's also possible that at a certain "stage" in life one particular fantasy may come to dominate our thinking. I think that may be what's happening to me.

I'm not sure how I missed this fascinating topic, so I thank Noah for breathing fresh life into it. Now, here's my story. From the earliest time I can remember I was fascinated with the idea of spanking although punishments in my home played out far differently from my thoughts. Still, I was in the middle of grammar school when I fantasized about being spanked and even began spanking myself in secret.

I was always on the receiving end, and I recall distinctly that I had a recurring fantasy over a girl I had a crush on where rather than her being my spanker as one would expect, instead we were co-recipients with me being spanked alongside her and consoling her through our ordeal. I was probably in 6th or 7th grade.

Still this desire was kept secret until college where I stumbled upon some S&M porn ( it wasn't called BDSM back then LOL) and realized I was not some lone alien in my desires. At the age of 19 I decided or rather vowed that I WOULD HAVE MY DESIRES FULFILLED! Convention and normalcy be damned!

I confessed my interests, albeit nervously to a girlfriend who later become my first wife, and she gave me my first true adult spanking and did so with gusto! Being young and struggling with being submissive, back then my fantasies all revolved around games. And this playful 'loser gets spanked' theme remained my default for a while.

Eventually I became more comfortable with my submission and suggested spanking as punishment for actual misdeeds, and while those were rare in my first marriage they did occur and I found myself drawn to the notion of genuine domestic discipline. After my first marriage ended I experimented with switching and found, to my surprise that not only was I capable of it, but I could enjoy it and ended up being pretty good at it. And yet that aspect rarely worked it way into my fantasies. I remained a submissive at heart....albeit now a versatile one.

Then came Rosa and domestic discipline became a fixed reality. Even as we engaged in both playfully sexual spankings and real discipline, I found that nothing could compete with the latter. My stories reflect this evolution in some ways.

Now at 65 I find myself content with either. Some games we play are actually quite fun, and DD is still a powerful thing but not always an easy road for either party. My fantasies though have grown towards being very 'real world centered' though. Playful fantasies are rare. Instead, it's the idea of being accountable and the spanking punitive that really keeps me intrigued.

Thanks to everyone for these deeply insightful reflections and confessions, especially those of you who went into some personal detail. Fascinating stuff!

This is really fascinating, snapshots from so many people of this incredible diversity of needs. In fantasy I have always been a switch, I think. My earliest memories of thinking excitedly about corporal punishment go back to around five, when I was bathed and then spanked naked by my mother. I had fantasies about little girls being spanked or caned on their knickers by witches and recently I remembered how I used to draw stick figures with canes behind nursery rhyme characters in my comics.
But not much later, probably when I started to read school stories, I fantasised all the time about being a selfless heroic boy who takes the blame for a friend's misdeeds and is caned by the Headmaster. Then I heard about whipping boys and I dreamed of being one.
Then at puberty it all changed, and for decades I fantasised only about females being spanked etc. I use the passive tense because I rarely included myself as the authority figure, a d it was the girls' feelings I identified with.
A few years back I discovered gay spanking material, and very erotic scenes of Borstal canines etc. I still visualised females on the receiving end though!
Finally in just the last week I have come across images on deviantart that have awakened a delight in judicial FM scenes that I have never found before. This has enabled me to see myself as the spanked directly for the first time since I was 10 or 11.
So a lot has changed, but what has stayed the sa.e, I think, is a constant identification with the person being spanmec

Great subject and I am late to the chat. Like Smachaie, for me it must have started at school where the cane was used by a number of masters including the Head. Other masters used a slipper (more usually a plimsole). I was caned three times and there was nothing about these experiences that was anything other than unpleasant in the extreme especially getting six across my bare bottom from the music master. However, I did have a strange interest in watching others get caned - and when three of us were caned in front of each other, I went second and minutes later with a red hot bottom I watched the third caning of my friend with his trousers and pants round his ankles with what I thought at the time was unhealthy interest. I also watched numerous boys get the slipper in front of the class with similar interest. Seeing boys in the showers with freshly caned bottoms always caused interest and made me think about getting the cane again, which in reality was the last thing I wanted although I did want to hear about their experience. Later of course my fantasies developed into females being caned and there was one girls school locally that used the cane and I could never get out of my mind the image of a teenage girl being caned across her bottom by her Headmistress. Perhaps this is because I have always been an ardent admirer of the female bottom! After school this interest was set on fire by the discovery of Janus and the fact that there was a great wide world out there that had similar interests with the central theme of a beautiful schoolgirl bending over to have a male teacher deliver a caning to her bare bottom, min-blowing - and so set off my fictional CP writing, initially with anonymous letters to Janus, Blushes, Kane etc and later for Over The Desk and now LSF. Thank you Sammi for starting the thread

I forgot to mention one more influence on my spanking fantasies. Both my mother and my father were the first one's in their families to attend college. Plus, they both liked to read. When we moved into our first house, we had hundreds of books. More than could be displayed. Many of the books were not appropriate (?) for a preteen. I'm not talking pornography. I learned that the "English vice" wasn't limited to England. And that it existed before there was an England. Spanking was not the subject of the books. But it existed. Think Joyce, Rosseau, Apuleius, Minor Russian authors, mythology etc. By the time my parents decided to buy me "age" appropriate books it was too late.

A correction to my last post. I read a lot when I was young. I didn't really understand a lot. I kind of focused on the "good parts."

That is fascinating, Noah, bcause my father kept his shelf of naughty books in a cupboard in my [i][/i]bedroom. It never ocurred to me until I was past fifty that there was anything questionable in this! His idea of naughty books was perhaps not everyone's. So I read Justine, but also The Second Sex, the one with the naked woman doing her toilette on the front. But my favourite read was Bloch's Sexual Life in England, the chapter on Flagellomania. I'm sure I can still quote parts of it from memory.

My dad used to hide 'dirty' books where he probably knew I would discover them. I think it was to avoid having to give me the 'talk'. I was no braver with my own sons, but by that time there was so much information widely available they could probably have given me the 'talk'.