Evolution of spanking fantasies

My fantasies always revolved around giving spankings, until I got to my mid forties. Then, for some reason, I became fascinated by being spanked, and naturally my fantasies began to include that.

I was never spanked as a child. My Mom would give the odd smack, but there were no formal punishments. Whilst my school used the cane I never received it. In seven years of senior school the only corporal punishment I received was a couple of whacks with a gym shoe on one occasion, when half a dozen of us got it. At the time the preservation of my bottom seemed like a good thing.

Looking back now, I wish I'd somehow contrived to get put over someone's knee for a good sound spanking. I find myself trying to relive something that I never experienced. My fantasy is very specific; over a lady's lap for a bare bottomed hand spanking that has me twitching and wriggling, and leaves me needing to rub my bottom.

I've tried to experience this with several wonderful women, but, I think due to the difficulty in giving a proper punishment to a grown man with just a hand, I never quite get what I want. I do enjoy the experience though.

Now I spend a lot of time imagining spanking and being spanked.

My fantasies have always been a fairly even mixture of giving and receiving, occasionally even neutrally watching. From whatever angle it is though, I have never really been comfortable with the spanker acting fully as judge, jury and executioner. I have usually split those roles out a bit, so the spanker is following some kind of process, whether that's a formal, institutional set of rules or an informal way the spankee at least knew this avoidable action would be met by this response.

I picked up my first penthouse magazine in the 1970's just to read the articles as I believed the authors to be world class writers - not to look at the pictures (yea right, I was a young Navy sailor) and in the forum section was a story about a woman receiving a spanking. A sexual spanking fetish was born. For years my reading and thoughts were only as the one giving the spanking. An then in a Penthouse Forum magazine there was a story of a man on the receiving end and it was a complete turn off, but, the more I thought about it the more my thoughts were to both the giver and the receiver. Now my thoughts are as the receiver only and I became RaisedKilt. RK

In May 1981 we went on a 10 day trip(*) to Worthing in England(**) and on the way there we had a few misbehaving pupils in our ranks and on our 1st day our teacher invited us to visit an English school which we declined.
Around 2021/22 I came across some ebooks on Amazon including spanking
Anthony Alba aka watcher: Reformatory Girls I
Stanleigh Meresith aka The English Master: Summer Term at Chesterton Court
Louis Woodley aka mj2001: Hiding in the Academy

I thought these stories interesting, but when I did some research I learned that corporal punishment was still a reality in the England of 1981. That made me wonder if the invite to an English school was a way to lure our smokers into a trap. They got our responsible teacher especially mad on the trip. I don't know a single smoker who could survive a prolonged time without a smoke, they would for sure earn some kind of punishment.
In 1970 corporal punishment was banned from German(FRG) schools. Since I started school in 1971. All my classmates like me had never witnessed or experienced it.
Thus a year after I discovered my first novel I went from interesting stuff to curiosity and started to question my own past.

(*) Once a year we made a week long school trip (Mo-Fr)
In year 10 we went to England (since it wasn't around the corner we went for slightly more than a week (Mo-2nd. Wed)
(**) In Germany we refer to the British islands as England when we talk about of them. My generation didn't differentiate. At some time ago I learned that the Scottish don't like it when you declare they are English in a forum. That reminded me of the Franks near Nuremberg, you should look for a final resting place before telling them they are Bavarians.

Thanks, Timthetum, Lucian, RaisedKilt and Moody for your insights!

The subject of this thread is spanking fantasies, something thought about, dreamed about, but never experienced. I have long fantasised about being a spanker and, over the years, have managed, to turn that particular fantasy into reality, first at spanking parties, then with "one to one" encounters with professional spankees and finally with girls who just do it for fun.

I write about it too. Latterly, having for years delved into the thoughts and sensations of girls being punished, I have wondered what that would be like--wriggling and tearful, across a woman's lap. Submitting. A fantasy of being a spankee.

But that's all it is, fantasy, so, to that extent my fantasies have developed from exclusively M/F to occasionally F/M. The next stage, actual F/M, would be a huge step, and not one that I sure I would like to take. Are there those who have made that transition--from actual spanker to actual spankee?

Geoffrey Stirling.

This is an interesting topic, but much has been said already, and I don’t know how much yet another confession can add to the discussion. But let’s try anyway.

My parents didn’t believe in spanking, and except for a few occasions where my father lost his patience, I wasn’t spanked growing up. These spankings happened at such an early age that I didn’t really have a clear impression of how it felt to be spanked. Still I started to fantasize about spankings at quite a young age. I can remember playing spanking games with the boy across the street at age 7 or 8 (it was clearly on my initiative as he got spanked at home and couldn’t quite see the charm), but I’m pretty sure the fantasies started quite a bit earlier. At this time, it was spanking as a phenomenon that attracted me - I didn’t really care whether it was me or somebody else who got spanked. I can remember quite elaborate daydreams where half the boys in the neighborhood got their comeuppance (as far as I was concerned, girls didn’t exist at the time). As I have always been primarily interested in spanking as punishment, I have a feeling that I at the time preferred fantasies where I was at the receiving end as they seemed more realistic than the ones where I (at the tender age of 10 or 11) dished out punishment.

When girls came into existence somewhere in the late 1960s, I discovered that my fascination with them could be combined with my fascination with spanking, and again half the neighborhood was getting their comeuppance, but this time mainly the girls. At this time, my fantasies started to take on a more dominant flavor, but I’m not certain it was because I was becoming more dominant. I rather think it was because the dominant role was easier to combine with my new self-image as a strong, assured, protective male (I didn’t fool anyone, especially not myself). I can remember a few fantasies were I got spanked by older women (half my present age), but in most cases I was giving the spanking or observing it.

I don’t think things have changed much since then, and spanking of naughty teenage girls is still my number one fantasy. Still, the focus changed a little when I started to write spanking stories and got into my head that I should try to explore how spanking could work in consensual, adult relationships. It’s still work in progress …

I might be a somewhat unusual here in that my fantasies as a child leaned heavily toward the 'for fun' kind of scenarios. I had the occasional fantasy about bending over or going across the lap to be disciplined by a teacher but mainly I thought about having friends who were interested in it as I was and getting spanked as part of a game. I made the mistake of telling someone about my interest at a sleepover and had to endure the nickname "spanky girl" for two years until my family moved to another town. I never made that mistake again throughout the rest of my school years. At any rate, my fantasies are mostly still engaging in spanking play with people with similar interests. Where my fantasies have changed are more a matter of expansion, in terms of positions, implements, and additional activities. As a child my fantasies were almost entirely OTK or bending over a desk or chair with hand or paddle. In my twenties I became interested in the diaper position among others. I've always been a switch in my fantasy life.

A fascinating movie about the beginning of that evolution is "Dottie Gets Spanked".
Set in 1950s or 60s, a young boy in a non-spanking household is fascinated with the Miss. Dottie Show, Miss. Dottie being a Lucile Ball type character. While utterly focused on watching the show, a visiting mother says something about how she could never get her daughter to sit calmly like that. Her husband is always having to spank that girl. His mother explains that this is a non-spanking house, but the seed is planted.

That seed is watered when the boy wins a drawing to be one of four children to get a tour of the Miss. Dottie Show. Miss. Dottie takes a comic spanking (the way Lucile Ball sometimes did) and later the boy has a confused spanking dream.

It's worth a view, and really should have been titled "Why Todd Haynes is in to Spanking".

Goodgulf
I always thought the ending was sad though when he destroys his spanking stash.