Evolution of spanking fantasies

Hi, everyone!

I've been noticing a gradual change in my perspective in spanking fantasies. I wonder if I'm unusual or if many other people can relate.

As a very young girl, I knew I had a passion for this thing of ours. My only desire, naturally, was being the recipient of corporal punishment. When I reached puberty, it was a shocking revelation just how - um, hot and bothered, let's say - it made me to picture being a naughty girl over the knee of a strong, beautiful headmistress, governess or aunt figure.

These fantasies remained unchanged well into adulthood. I have scraps of fiction I wrote in my twenties that painted myself as a misbehaving high schooler, or sometimes a college girl, facing the music.

The constant was my identification with the person getting spanked, even if I also felt strong feelings of attraction/infatuation with my imaginary disciplinarian.

In my thirties, the tables were occasionally turned. I wrote a few satisfying stories from the perspective of the woman wielding the strap or hairbrush. But those were still rare compared to my yearning to be the bottom rather than the top.

I'm now well into my forties, and I find myself surprised to spend more time picturing myself as the powerful one and some pretty young thing submitting to my will. It leaves me with mixed feelings.

Yes, it's absolutely a turn-on when I'm in the mood to picture such a scene. But it's tinged with doubt, maybe even guilt?

If I imagine myself as a naughty girl caught by a wise maternal figure, then of course she deserves a hot bottom. It's pure and just and right that she be punished, and a delight to picture myself getting it.

But when I'm the one playing the judge, jury and executioner, I wonder if my (fantasized) motives are pure. It seems more complex, deciding whether a girl's behavior has crossed the line, whether she needs punishment, and how many tears I require for her to learn a lesson.

Enough rambling. I'm just wondering if others have noticed their fantasies evolving over the decades.

I also wonder if mine will continue to drift, so that in my fifties/sixties I'll no longer picture myself as the bad girl, but only the avenging angel. It seems like if that happens, it would be a loss.


Sammi

Sammi, excellent question and discussion thread. I believe that as we mature and gain life experience, our imaginations (and our fantasies) expand and become richer. I'm no psychologist, but I believe it is certainly possible that our fantasies may also be influenced by our changing worldview. In your case, as you've gotten older, it may be more difficult for you to imagine yourself as a 'naughty girl' and easier to imagine yourself as a disciplinarian. In the end, who knows and who cares? You are entitled to your fantasies, whatever they are. Enjoy them. Speaking personally, as readers of my stories can attest, I have imagined and written just about everything associated with spanking. I am now well into my 70s and my imagination is just as strong as it ever has been (it helps having a partner who shares my passion). Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

It's my observation that people who explore their sexuality more tend to become more versatile. Many doms or subs end up as switches.

Speaking just for myself, I can honestly say I've always had spanking fantasies of the dominant kind. That's not to say I didn't experiment with self spanking, but it really didn't drive my motor like the thought of being on the giving end. But YMMV.

I also wonder about how the mixed feelings you mention might apply to your fantasies in the submissive role, because I think the ethics can still be complicated in that situation. If you truly deserve punishment, but you would get sexual gratification from being spanked, then how much of a punishment is it really? Or if you feel sexual attraction to your disciplinarian, is there manipulation involved to get the punishment you want/deserve?

Sexuality is complicated and I don't pretend to understand it fully, but as the old saw goes, I know what I like. And de gustibus non est disputandum.

I've often thought, as there are so few true Disciplinarians out there, older subbies/bottoms take under their palm younger subbie/bottoms so the younger set know there's someone who cares for them.

When I was younger in my early forties, I went to great lengths to separate the spankee and spanker sessions. I would take the train or bus into the city and do one scene then repeat the spanker scene on the way back out to the plane at the end of my business trip.

Dommes start as submissives in the dungeons. That way they know first-hand what instruments feel like and how to wield them in a responsible manner. I found later, i could switch in the same session, but that came about slowly in my fifties. The Dommes like that because your spanks against their panty-clad butts come first, so you're more lenient, careful with your swats. They are complementary of your creative role play and call it an art form.

It's an interesting concept. I knew this was an interest of mine from when I was about 8 years old, and back then I was very much the one being spanked in my fantasies. That continued for many years. I ultimately morphed into a switch, although in my fantasies I prefer being the one being spanked, to the one doing the spanking.
It would be an interesting thing to explore in a story, the evolution of spanking fantasies.

My experience has been almost the exact opposite.

Perhaps because we received corporal punishment at school and at home, the thoughts of being at the receiving end was never very exciting. My first fantasy , or wish, was inspired by a TV serial, Tom Sawyer and was true to the book. Toms had a crush on a girl, Becky I think, and one day Becky was in trouble in school and about to be caned. Tom stands up, says he is the guilty one, and takes the caning instead. Of course Becky is forever grateful and falls in love with Tom. I tried a number of times to play a similar hero role, not in school but in a domestic setting. And not because I craved the caning, but because I think I craved to be a hero and be loved by the pretty girl. I never succeeded in saving the girl, usually my cousin, from her punishment and often found I just added myself to the punishment list!

When I did eventually find the idea of corporal punishment erotic, it was only in the sense of an over the knee spanking delivered to a female recipient on her panties covered bottom. Never a school punishment and certainly never with me on the receiving end.

Like you, when I reached my late thirties or early forties I began to switch and occasionally found the idea of receiving a spanking to be sensual.

Thanks to Warthur, SNM, Preacher's Wife, Kerrsutherland, Carolina Paddler, Seegee and Smatchai for your insightful comments. They all are helpful.

Just to add to my previous post
I started my first job in late 1960s/early 1970's. In school, as was typical for the time, we would have experienced regular canings so moving from school to work meant I could leave any concern about the cane in the past.
Within the first six months or so of starting my working life, a more senior work colleague went to London on business and returned with a copy of 'Playboy' magazine. This was totally banned in Ireland and I had never seen any such magazine before so you can imagine the excitement as it was shared amongst both male and female work colleagues.
Along with what I saw as 'sexual' articles and photographs, there was a 'report' of a party in a luxurious mansion. The reporter noted a 'maid' who was made to stand in a corner of the garden for some transgression. When questioned she explained about her fault, I cannot remember the details now, and she said that she was waiting for the host to come and give her a spanking. I remember being totally outraged at this. When I left school I was free of any concerns about corporal punishment and I felt she should be as well. In my workplace I had joined a union and I remember thinking that if she did the same she would not have to put up with spankings at work. The idea that this article was meant to be in any way erotic went completely over my head.