The spankee's dilemma

I'm sorry but as someone who has engaged in this lifestyle for decades ranging from play to punishment and everything in between, while I 'get' the sentiment behind the stated 'dilemma', I just don't think it's as difficult to navigate and overcome as it's being presented. One way is to talk well in advance of the 'event'. Another is to give the hard limits (if there are any) and then flat-out state that you are looking to be surprised and challenged. Another is to explain the psychology or emotion behind your desires rather than lay out specific practices, and then let the Top explore.

I also think that the entire element behind being surprised is taking the chance of what that surprise may be, and realizing that it may not be what you had in mind. Annnnnnnnd........resolving in your mind that THAT is a good thing.

(I did a cartoon on this back in the 1990's where a couple exhaustively lays out the parameters for the impending spanking, with the last line being..."oh, and one more thing....can you try to make this feel completely spontaneous?" )

That rather reminds me of someone I used to work with. When he asked his wife what she wanted for her birthday she said: "I want you to throw me a surprise party."

I think that wife deserved a surprise spanking.

I am lucky, my other half knows exactly what I want/need/deserve depending on the circumstances.

I did used to like the melody with mum and gran, never quite sure what the pay back would be for the same offence.

With others, I generally have had to tell them what to do to me, which kind of spoils the fun, slightly.

I have to hint and almost beg for a spanking and it takes away the power shift. Take charge and surprise me and tell me what to do and what position to get in and don't let me know how much and with what I will be spanked with. RK