The spankee's dilemma

I often think how there is a big dilemma at the heart being a spankee. On the one hand, you may be desperately hoping that certain things will be done to you - and perhaps also that certain other things will NOT be done to you. On the other hand, you want to feel that you have completely given up control and are entirely at the mercy of someone else. I don't know of any way to reconcile these two wishes - unless you have a telepathic spanker!

Try talking to your spanker, before the action.

You just wrote the synopsis for a splendid story, "The Spankees Dilemma", about the thoughts and desires flashing through the head of an eager spankee while waiting for the spanking to commence.

I think the thoughts going through the mind of the 'spankee' will be very much impacted by whether the spanking is 'adult play' or a matter of discipline.

In the case of the latter, my own experience would be that thoughts would very much be around the dread of the pain involved. Where I shared the punishment with others, and as I got older, I would definitely be conscious of being 'brave' and taking my punishment without fuss.

I agree with Geoffrey. It's wise to have a talk before a spanking to answer any questions either the spankee or the spanker may have. Each can then know what to expect or what might happen.

You can give them a hint without elaborating on your specific fantasy. A notecard with key points can be a real conversation starter.

Ack! I have a story coming out called Dilemma. Thankfully, its not so closely related to Alan's quandary. Still, might have to rename it...

It's surely a matter of talking things through before assuming a role (or a position!). Discussing it can be a turn on for both parties!

There should be some way of introducing some uncertainty into the scenario; after all, if the spankee tells their spanker what they want and don't want, and then gets exactly what they asked for, it removes the mystery, the apprehension, and the sense of being in the spanker's power, having to take whatever punishment they've decided on, away - which can be a big part of the thrill for both parties!

Perhaps the spankee has to draw three cards from a deck of agreed-on spankings, with the spanker deciding which of the three punishments to inflict. That way, the spanker has some control over the situation, while the spankee doesn't know if they're in for a mild spanking, a moderate one, or one which will push their limits!

That's exactly the point I was trying to make. But I agree that in the real world compromises will have to be made. One compromise is to have a safe word. One may hope not to use it, but with that extra level of security, the spankee may not feel it necessary to spell out in detail what's going to happen.