Choking sex play

I know this is a bit off topic for a spanking site.
I have been following the very sad case of Grace Millane, the British backpacker who was killed by her Tinder date in New Zealand. It is now been on the news that he has been found guilty of her murder.

It seems that they engaged in choking sex play. She was a member of a number of BDSM sites and had put on her Tinder (I believe) profile she enjoyed choking sex play. Unfortunately her date seems to have recklessly over done it and killed her. He then made matters worse for himself by not calling an ambulance when she passed out and attempting to hide the body.

This choking sex play is new to me I've really only just heard about it, whereas for instance I've known that giving a girl or woman a good spanking can make them sexually aroused since I was about 16 and I am 56.

I have seen some breathplay pornography, but I'm not really into elaborate equipment such as gas masks and hoods, and it didn't interest me particularly.

Doing some internet searches on it and finding some YouTube videos about it, it seems a lot of young girls are really into it and swear by it for enhancing orgasms and sex. But can it really do this and is it inherently risky and dangerous?

I generally date only women over 40 and I have never been asked to do this, maybe luckily.

Has anyone tried choking sex play? Is it safer to stick to other BDSM play such as handcuffs, blindfolds and spanking?

Choking games are always very dangerous. You never know what lack of oxygen to the brain might trigger. There was a case a few years back in Sweden when a young couple was involved in chocking sex combined with BDSM. After they were, apparently successfully done, the dom left the room briefly to go to the bathroom. Upon return, the person in the bed was found dead due to suffocation. If you really want to do this, you need to have really good safety barriers. There must always be a way to get free and free-hand choking is not recommended as it's incredibly hard to control the pressure and where it's placed. I'd say stick to bondage and spanking, it's so much safer and can be equally as rewarding, without endangering the one you love.

Similar to what I have heard of people killing themselves by hanging by a noose around the neck and masturbating. Stupid and very very dangerous auto-eroticism.

I also would recommend against knife-play for obvious reasons!

I didn't even know that this was a thing. Of course I am so naïve that I thought "bisexual" meant you had to pay for it!

Actually, a murdered woman having been a so-called "gasper" was part of the plotline for the Michael Crichton novel Rising Sun, from the late 1980s.

Before then, I admittedly hadn't been aware of that erotic practice either, however it made me grateful that I merely desired my darling wife to smack my behind...

--C.K.

A number of well known people have killed themselves like this. In 2009 David Carradine (actor Kung Fu in the 1970s) was found dead in a closet in his hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand, due to a fatal autoerotic asphyxiation accident.
I can remember a male UK politician from the 1990s as well vaguely. Reported in the press found dead having an orange in his mouth and dressed in stockings.

In the UK in Channel 5's "The Sex Business", latest series, episode 1, (still available on the catchup app), which was about female BDSM submissives. One of the professional submissives said she started off as a young girl putting a belt around her neck and masturbating, then moved on to getting boyfriends to strangle and choke her, then seeing internet pornography and becoming a professional submissive.


I didn't know about this as well until I began researching this choking sex play. In a YouTube video one of the teenage girls talking about choking during sex said she also liked boyfriends to caress her body up and down with a knife and perhaps hold the knife to her throat prior to sex.

Yes I could see bad accidents happening with this as well.

Okay, definitely sounds like over the top thrill seeking. The risk is too big. It's way better to develop the interest in more moderate specializations. There is so much to find and different aspects to investigate and learn from "standard" spanking and BDSM. There is no need for a continious search of more and more difficult and extreme things. The risk is like Carradine, trying more and more difficult things until it one day doesn't work any longer - and you die.

Hi Glagla, Thank you your concern. It teen girl on a YouTube video who said she liked this not me. I've no intention of trying knife play myself. Incidentally on another YouTube video a BDSM girl called Evie Lupine suggests to make knife play safer the partner could be blindfolded then the edge of a credit card used instead. The credit card card could even be put in a fridge before play to make it feel more like a knife. Still could be super scary for the partner if they really think it is knife.

markuk

Well, people pay good money for the thrill of riding a roller coaster. I guess it is the same psychological phenomenom when they do knife play and choking play. But with less risk aversion.