A spanking joke

We seem to have moved away from the spanking joke to a discussion of why wives/girlfriends will accept many activities which may involve a certain degree of discomfort but not spanking.

The answer is very simple--spanking has connotations of domination/submission and many women (I speak from disappointed experience) will not countenance accepting spankings (however mild) because it makes them feel that they are submitting to the spanker and that does not fit in with their world view of equality etc.

The answer is to take the submission/symbolism out of it, however important that aspect is to you. Be patient, getting her over your knee is just the beginning. Once you have broken that barrier.....

The knee is a particular problem so is bending over. Try doing it whilst she is lying on the bed. Much more neutral. I have also employed games, card games in my case. The winner spanks the loser, nothing to do with behaviour or domination. Just be sure you can win that game (each point equals one spank) or you will end up on the receiving end.

Back to jokes. This one was a cartoon in, I think, Janus.

Wife is spread-eagled on the wall, naked. Marks on her bottom. Husband is wearing torturer's stripy leggings and black hood. He is holding a cat o' nine tails. In the doorway stands a fully dressed woman (twinset and pearls), possibly the woman's sister or friend.

The caption, obviously the wife's words: "I think it is important that men are allowed their hobbies."

Well, I have no problem with one-sided spanking games (I've written stories about a few), however they should be fully consensual, with the player who is quite likely to lose aware that the situation is one which probably will result in him/her receiving most or even all of the swats given on his/her posterior. If he/she wants an even chance of winning, which could involve adjusting for comparative skill levels in some games, and therefore of delivering the stinging smacks afterward, that should be the agreement.

Should a spanko-dominant husband with a 'vanilla' wife want her to engage in erotic spanking play, I'm figuring that she should have an equal opportunity to spank him, if that's what she desires as an equalizing aspect of their arrangement.

Husband: "But honey, I'm a pure spanko-top, I don't enjoy being spanked."
Wife: "Well sweetheart, I'm a total 'vanilla,' I don't enjoy it at all either."

Of course, there may be other considerations which she would accept in return for being spanked by her spouse, or she might occasionally live with having a smarting derriere simply out of marital love, even if she felt nothing sexually or otherwise personally gratifying from it.

Still, some people of both genders are going to consider the act of their being spanked to be inherently childlike and demeaning, no matter how it's presented by their potential spankers, and refuse to participate in it on that basis; many of them would undoubtedly feel the same way about administering spankings to their spouses.

This describes a cartoon from "Collected Submissions," KD Pierre's online blog:

A female teacher is spanking a young pupil, bare-bottom-up across her lap, in front of his classmates, while she tells him, "Stop whinging! You'll have to pay good money for this sort of thing when you're older." (Possibly not, assuming he'll grow up spanko-submissive, if he can find an understanding girlfriend or wife, since 'vanilla' persons tend to be much more obliging about dishing out sound bottom-warmings to their partners than undergoing them.)

"An understanding 'vanilla' lover is worth his/her weight in gold." --Classic spankophile wisdom

--C.K.

- CK, I love that cartoon and your comment.

I've failed miserably to come up with any more new spanking jokes, but last night I was reminded of a rather good bottom joke which I think was one of Dave Allen's. It went something like this ...

A man goes out for the evening, drinks far more than he should, and ends up in a serious state of inebriation. Still not satisfied, he buys a bottle of whiskey to take home, and puts it in his back trouser pocket. On the way in, making his unsteady progress up the stairs, he stumbles backwards against the bannister. The bottle smashes and the shards cut his backside to shreds - a terrible mess. The poor man does the only thing he can think of - he drops his trousers and pants, bends over in front of the wardrobe mirror, and patches himself up as best he can with sticking plasters. Then he collapses onto the bed and falls into a deep sleep.

When he wakes the next day, he can't remember a thing about the night before, but he's very surprised to see pieces of sticking plaster all over his wardrobe mirror.

On one of the British TV political satire shows many years ago one of the team (Could have been Willie Rushton?) said the following:

Younger pupils at the all boys Public School of Harrow have expressed concerns that the school is considering admitting girl pupils for the first time. They said they would not want to be caned by a female prefect.

Their fathers in the House of Lords have told them to shut up, as they don't know what they missing.

Much smile-inducing mirth, keep it up while I try to think of one myself!

There was a brilliant French meme posted a couple of years ago. It was a photo of Melania Trump and Brigitte Macron standing together, photographed from behind.

Under Melania's bottom it said "Fesses à Fessées" (Spankable bottom)

Under Brigitte's bottom it said "Fesses affaissées" (Saggy bottom)

The prononciations of both phrases are very similar.

I am sure you can find it on the internet if you search.

Et voilà!

https://www.google.com/search?q=fesses+de+milania+et+brigitte&oq=fesses+de+milania+et +brigitte&aqs=chrome..69i57.15214j0j8&client=tablet-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-m obile&ie=UTF-8#imgdii=315ZUOiLp5_IGM:&imgrc=Q0jgiEO7WRO4aM:

My wife only spanks me when we are together. If we are forced to be together for two weeks or more because of the virus thingie I could be in for a rough time. RK.

"After thirty years of marriage," said George," I know my wife's buttocks like the back of my hand. They also like the front of my hand."