Tense selection help

Perhaps some of you folks who actually stayed conscious during your English grammar class could give the rest of us a bit of help in selecting the proper tense for a given situation.

Example:
Past tense- She went to the store, bought a new hairbrush, and took it home.
Present tense- She goes to the store, buys a new hairbrush, and takes it home.

I don't think I have ever written a story in the present tense, and many that I read here written that way just feel "wrong" to me. Is it just me? When can the present tense be used effectively?

Personally, I think it is very hard to write a present tense story while telling the story first person because you would have had to already experienced the spanking before writing it. The story would have to be told third person for it to be present tense.....as if they were watching it as it happens. HOWEVER, it wouldn't be impossible for one to tell the story as it unfolds....just possibly a little awkward.

Katie B

Generally, stories are written in the past tense.

The present tense is used to give a sense of 'immediacy' ... so that the reader feels it is actually happening right there and then. (Or here and now?)

For an example of how tenses can be mixed to give this effect, see 'Next Summer, Riyadh?' by The English Master.

Present tense also works well if the story is told in first person, especially the 'stream of consciousness' type of story. My own, 'Important Contact' I offer as an example.

Past tense is the norm, and, I think, the easiest to work with, but it's worth experimenting as the effects can be rewarding.

(I not only stayed conscious, I LOVED grammar! Noun, singular, common, subjective. Verb, active, past tense ... sorry!)

It can be done in present tense if the point of view is in the first person and the narrator is speaking as if she is telling a story to someone. It is a manner of speaking.

"So Joe says, 'I didn't do nuthin'. Well I tell Joe to get his little butt upstairs. Later I went up and blistered him good."

I used this convention in The Truth About Andy, if you want to see how it works. Otherwise I use past tense. The only way to use a pure present tense is to be writing in the right now. But it can be done.

"Marcia enters her son's room, tapping the hairbrush against her thigh. This will hurt, she knows but it must be done. She pulls him over her knee, trapping his legs. He struggles. She raises the brush..."

Now that you've raised this point I may try it.

I use the form of a letter sometimes where a character, in first person, tells a friend what happened using the present tense, because it's more colloquial, and people do use the present to describe the past when talking (especially on buses, apparently: "So, she comes back in and says to him, she does, she says, "What you gonna do about it then?" And he says, "I'm gonna put you over my knee and..." and she squeals with delight...)
Chapter 9 of my current serial (up soon I hope) has a long letter mostly in the present (but slipping, I hope seamlessly, into the past tense sometimes). As Linda says, it adds immediacy (literally, it's 'present').
Now, as for the past perfect tense...

I've tried to do a first person, present tense story.

I failed.

The challenge of writing the now, of giving a step by step course of action, was (and is) beyond me.

Goodgulf

I try to write in a language which is not my native one. It is difficult and I am always afraid of grammatical errors and to "sound" not right to the reader. Mostly, I use past tense - it's easier as it was pointed out, but occasionaly I dab in present tense, mainly when I write a story entirely in dialogue.

One thing that sounds - to me - unnatural, is a story written in first person, present tense, where the narrator address to a third party like that:

"I enter the room. You are waiting for me with the hairbrush in your hand and your bottom bared. You are pouting and your eyes are red from crying."

What do you think about this kind of present tense style?

KJM

That's what I tried - more or less - and failed at. For it to be true present tense the "are waiting for me" has to be more immediate.

Something like:
I enter the room. I see you there, waiting for me with the hairbrush in your hand and your bottom bared. I can't help but notice that you are pouting and your eyes are red from crying."

Or I could be wrong - I can't claim to be an expert in English grammar.

Goodgulf

Yes, this particular narrative mode is very hard to sustain beyond a short passage because it involves the second person 'you': it'd be appropriate for describing an 'ideal fantasy', but less so if you're trying to convey past events. However, it's possible to use present tense, and address a 'you', if (as in a letter) that 'you' is absent, and simply the imagined audience for that bit of text.

Thanks, everyone: like Linda, this is my (second) favourite topic! Really getting to the bottom of things, linguistically!

Somewhere in this discussion it should be noted that the present tense is not generally used for the present in English. the present progressive is, "I spank the naughty girl" indicates a habitual action, not necessarily one going on at the present time, "I spank the naughty girl when I catch her." For something happening in the present, "I am spanking the naughty girl. Of course to keep things interesting, there is a class of verbs for which this is not true, "I know the color of her knickers" (nod to our British friends), not "I am knowing the color of her knickers."