All hail the God of Yoga Pants who somehow convinced women to willingly walk with figure hugging stretch pants, giving an outstanding view and shaping the perfection of their rears for public pleasure. I am so fortunate to experience this in my lifetime and for once - once - it's a fashion that I strongly agree with and dearly hope will go on for years and years to come. This was just meant to lead up to the praise describing the distinct advantages of how this fashion enables me to rank everyone properly.

...And writing this made me so worked up that I have to walk to the subway and go up and down the escalator a dozen times, hopefully without arising suspicion...