In my case nearly 100 % closeted. My wife knows, and I was upfront about my kink before we married so she knew what she was getting into. At heart, I'd say I'm a switch, but since my wife does not enjoy being spanked, when someone gets spanked in our household, I'm the one on the receiving end 90+ % of the time.
It's been over 25 years ago since I told my then girlfriend about my kink, and although my memory could faulty after all these years, I don't remember it being all that difficult to tell her. Probably, one thing that made it easier was that she had three sons when we met, and early in our relationship I was at her place when she spanked the youngest one (maybe about 8 years old at the time) for something he'd done. I used that event as an opportunity to tell her that I wanted her to do the same thing to me if I ever deserved it. In the 10 year period after she spanked her youngest son, I only knew her to spank him one other time. so it wasn't like she a particularly avid spanker, but it was something that she didn't rule out if the situation warranted it.
From what my wife has told me, before she came to this country, she was much stricter with her two older boys, and stories she's told me about some of the punishments she gave them are pretty harrowing, so it seems as though she mellowed out quite a bit by the time I met her. It may be a cultural thing, but despite being so strict she with her two older sons, they're all still close and she talks to them both of them just about every day.
I did get some resistance from my wife when I first suggested that she ought to spank when I did something to deserve it, but once she tried it, I think she was glad to have it as option, and in one particular instance, it helped us work through a situation we might not been able to deal with otherwise. Most of the spankings that I receive are at my suggestion, and the lack of spontaneity takes some of the fun out of it. On the other hand, on the rare occasions when I mess up bad enough that she decides that I need to be spanked, I know that I'm in for an experience that I won't soon forget.
As far other as others knowing about my kink, I've not "come out" to anyone, which seems like a bit of a shame because I've known a number of people over years the who've talked and joked about spanking often enough to make me suspect that they could be spankos. However, I think I'd die of embarrassment if I outed myself to one of them, only to find out I'd misinterpreted the signals I thought they were sending out. That's one of the reasons I love this site so much - It gives me the opportunity to share with like-minded people while providing a layer of anonymity that allows me to say anything I want. | 
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