Curious About a Paddle with Holes.

Okay, this is what I got:

Now, the world don't care about the fate of just one bum
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
A Master take form, he's a master of means
Then along come girls, they got nothing under their jeans

But they get, Diff'rent Strokes. They take,
Diff'rent Strokes. They take,
Lots of Strokes that rules their world.

Everybody's feels a special kind of tannin'
Everybody's bottom's caned to a shine,
It don't matter that you got,
An awful lot,
So what,
They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.
And together we'll be fine....

But they get, Diff'rent Strokes. They take,
Diff'rent Strokes. They take,
Lots of Strokes that rules their world.

Thoughts? Ideas? Someone has got to have a better idea. I mean there has got to be a decent spanking parody there - even if the above isn't it. The word "stroke", the rhythm for bum... something has to work. Maybe "Diff'rent Strokes. I give / Diff'rent Strokes to make their toes curl" ?

No. Damn. There has got to be a good spanking parody there. Why can`t I find it?

Sigh.

For a look at better song parodies, check out my author page. Look under the heading of "Other" and you'll find ones that I played with endlessly (over days and weeks) before uploading. Including a parody of the Runaway's "Cherry Bomb" called "Cherry Bum" (the Runaways were Joan Jett's first band; note: see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgA2TBEBCn4 for proof that Joan Jett was a spanker when she babysat), an Angel of the Morning parody, a parody of Culture Club's Do You Want to Hurt Me (Do You Want to Spank Me) and other, better spanking parodies of other songs.

Damn. This is driving me crazy. There has got to be a good parody of "Diff'rent Strokes" out there.

An explanation of why I derailed this thread to make it a commentary of an 80s theme song:

I make homemade wine. Normally I bottle it in "half bottles" (375 ml - 2 or 3 glasses) but I also include some regular sized (750 ml) bottles in each batch. Alas, I don't have an unlimited number of bottle nor do I have unlimited space on my wine racks. In short, due to a shortage of bottles and the fact that I am bottling soon, I have opened a regular sized wine bottle and I am valiantly doing battle with it. Soon it will be a dead soldier, one waiting to be sterilized and refilled.

In short, I have had much more wine than I normally would drink while posting on the internet. And, alas, my mind is still wrapped around 80s theme songs.

Been there and done that. I would readily accept the eminently logical explanation were it not for the fact that your posts are remarkably more coherent and free from misspellings & typos than mine would be under that situation.

Back on a not-original topic. I have made a paddle out of an old wood saw blade - it's thin, and flexible, shaped a bit like an elongated teardrop. Sounds like a fearsome weapon which could cause lots of edge damage, and it could.
Why I hear you ask?
Well, when one is indulging in self-applied spanking, one needs a longer and more severe implement than if someone else is doing the honours, then one only needs to use the rotation of the wrist, not the less accurate movement of the whole arm.
And, yes, it's quite fierce even then.

It sounds fierce.

I'm sure it is, if used forcefully. I believe the edge effect is also the reason a tawse is split into two or three sections. More edge = more pain.

To add a little light and experience. I have a paddle where ' Submissive ' has been scrolled all the way through the wood. It's really beautiful, but you can't really go too hard with it because the wood is cut at ninety degrees and gives an unsexy ' cut ' pain. It might actually cut it hit long enough over welts, but I don't do that. It's just an unsexy pain. Like a headache. Annoying not gratifying. The counter sunk holes give sexy pain and leave marks. I don't believe they holes actually let you hit any harder.

I remember reading somewhere that what causes holed paddles to be more painful than solid ones and tawses more than plain straps is the 'edge effect'. At the boundary between the area struck by the implement and the untouched area next to it, the skin is forcefully distorted - stretched as one area is compressed by the impact and the other is not. Since holed paddles and tawses have more edges, there are more such boundaries, and therefore more pain.

The writer believed that, other factors being equal, three-tailed tawses must inflict more pain than two-tailed ones. Does anyone here have sufficient experience to confirm or deny this?

I remember reading a story (unfortunately not fictional) about a women who was held prisoner and tortured by the Gestapo during WWII and she was regularly beaten with a thick leather paddle that had a message carved into it, the object was to leave marks that spelled out the message on her backside.

I got paddled several times in school, not because I was a bad kid, it was just the paddle was used liberally. I never had a teacher or principal who purposely had holes in his or her paddle. I did have a teacher in 5th grade who was paddling a young lady in the hallway when a knot in the end of her paddle fell, was knocked out upon impact. When thy got back in the classroom she held the paddle up for us to see and told us, "this paddle will be very good for blisters now, if anyone wants to try me." To be honest, some of my teachers and principals paddled hard enough, they didn't need a paddle with holes, it hurt enough as it was.