Limericks ?

Just reading the captain Pugwash thread and Rosiecheeks had posted a Limerick in it :
iRosieCheeks:
What, a fair maiden in a tavern with those salty seadogs, that grog has muddled your brain cells.

There once was a barmaid from Sale
On whose breasts was the menu for ale
But since she was kind
For the sake of the blind
On her ass it was printed in Braille

I am sure there are hundreds/thousands of Limericks out there, so thought it may be fun for some spanking or smutty ones to be posted here !

There was a young man from Spain
Whose wife was a constant pain
He lifted her skirt
And made her bottom hurt
Which relieved somewhat his strain.

There was a schoolgirl from Reykjavík
Whose teacher spanked her throughout the week
He whacked her each day
Why, he didn't say
Maybe because she was so cute and meek.

A couple of interesting tries, Fulgur - but maybe a little more work on your scansion...

And Reykjavik (in English at any rate) stresses on the first syllable; so if you were going to rhyme it with anything, it would have to be something like 'take your pick'.

I've perpetrated about 50 spanking limericks, Pete; check out my author page and see what you think of them!

In Kentucky, a curvy young pet by Phil is one of my all-time favourite limericks. I've also written some, as have Alef and Barrethunter and others. They aren't listed as a separate category, they come under 'Poetry', but they're easy to spot by their low word count.

PhilK: Well, they were on the spot -- and I was at Reykjavík at the time, so I tried to write it in, I only had around 10 minutes to make them before leaving the hostel

Not bad for 10 minutes - though in fact most of mine tend to be spontaneous. But there's a lot to be said for revision after the event....

On a recent visit to southern France, I was interested to see a sign to a small town called Issanka...

There's a sassy young brat from Issanka
Whose boyfriend decided to spank her.
Said her mother, "Don't rush -
I'll fetch my hairbrush!"
For which the young man had to thank her.

PhilK
Well, I'm not a consummate limericker And is Issanka really pronounced the right way for the rhyme? French is terrible in this regards...

Sweetbeast, my lovely (and very spankable) French gf, assures me that it is....

There's a little bit of flexibility in the form and elision (letting two syllables sort of run together) is permitted, but basically the scansion should be dee DA dee dee DA dee dee DA (first, second and fifth lines) and dee DA dee dee DA (third and fourth lines). The number of syllables in the first, second and fifth lines should be the same (usually eight) and the number in the third line should be the same as the fourth and less than the other lines (usually five). The rhyming scheme is A A B B A.

It is true that I've written a lot. Composing them can be compulsive.