Welcome, Elliott.
In many ways, you are amongst kindred spirits here. I hope you will make good friends and get to live out the fantasies that you describe.
I definitely concur with the majority (if not unanimous) mindset here - you are obviously a normal person with very individual personal feelings that you are courageous enough to share with this Community. I think that puts us all in the same boat, although some of us (particularly self) would probably not have your courage.
Very best wishes for the future.

Nick