Domestic Discipline ?

Are any guys here in female led Domestic Discipline ? How did it start ? Did you initiate it ? Particularly like to hear where the lady was very vanilla until the guy came out and said he needed spanking to be a regular part of his life. Also difficulties encountered where the lady is really vanilla and reluctant to be more active and take this role. How did you resolve your relationship ?

Not long after we were married my wife was giving me a massage, and during it she landed a light smack on my backside.
When I asked her to do it again she wanted to know why.
"Because I like it," I replied, and to my delight...she did.
So, I pushed my luck a bit and asked her to do it harder...oh dear!
She point blank refused and when I asked her why she simply said that she didn't like to.
Now, back then and even to this day, my missus is quite naive when it comes to sexual matters...but she seemed to know exactly where I was coming from and was having none if it..
Thankfully, she carried on with the massage and we've never spoken about it since.
The funny thing is that, when I was young, I used to cringe when a spanking scene appeared on TV while my parents were watching...especially my Mum.
Now I do exactly the same thing when my wife's watching.
Life can be funny...NOT!

Shame having started it she didn't want to carry on . Women, it seems to me can be so frustrating ! My wife says that she would rather I find someone else that can give me the sex life I want rather than change herself. I find that very frustrating and rather sad.

Bottom line first: If you love the lady, find some accommodation and stick with her.

I haven't seen an appropriate survey, but I wouldn't be surprised to discover that half of us, (and likely more) have vanilla mates. Where do you think these thousands of spanking stories come from? I believe many of them (perhaps most of them) are simply somebody's harmless outlet for their spanko fantasies. It would be great we could actually have daily lives that match our fantasies, but that isn't the way life works.

What kind of "accommodation" is possible? I don't know, perhaps some suggestions will appear from the group. That said, it's hard to imagine a relationship working long-term if you really must take your sexual needs out of your house. In the end, your "accommodation" might need to happen entirely inside your own head, in your own private fantasy life.

Have you ever thought about writing spanking stories?

Guy, thanks for the wise words. I often say to people to concentrate on the positives rather than the negatives, but can sometimes be difficult to adhere to your own advice.
I have thought about writing some spanking stories but that is as far as it has gone. Interesting in that there has been so little response to this, I thought there would be much more !

That's an astonishing reply Guy.
Could you be more patronising?
Pete, like myself, is trapped in a vanilla relationship that simply isn't working.
I don't think that going off and writing a wee spanking story is going to make everything all right.
I really sympathise with this guy because I'm in the same position as he is.
I really love my wife and don't think I could stand to lose her, but my need to be spanked is a major part of my life.
If she can't or won't provide it then what do I do?
I'll tell you what I do, and have done for the past fifteen years...I live a double life.
Have I thought about leaving her and pursuing my dreams?...absolutely.
The cost though is far too much to bear...both emotionally and financially.
If we got divorced I simply couldn't afford to be a spanko'.
In fact, if I was single and earning what I'm earning now I doubt I could afford the cost of my kink even then, never mind losing half my house and a fair lump of my income and pension.
I don't know what age you are Pete, but if you're young enough and really in to the scene...then for God's sake do something about it.
I wish I had many years ago.

No one can tell someone to stay or leave their present arrangement as no one else knows the entire situation. One should be able to write a reply saying what they want and should not be run down for stating such. No one comment is no more important or smarter then any other no matter which side of the question they chose to side with.

I think few reply to this because it involves many unknowns, and some of those unknowns are very personal to many people. I refrain from discussing my personal relationship on how I satisfy my kink for spankings because I feel what I do or how I do it is no ones business.

I read the question often and after considerable thought decided not to answer the question. For those that chose to answer, no matter what they say they have as much right to say it as anyone else does.

CS

As CS pointed out, this is a very personal matter. While some members here are comfortable sharing intimate aspects of their spanking life, many are not so willing. And that's fine. But those who do post, and those who offer suggestions, should be respected rather than criticized or made to feel their opinions have no value.

No one here wants to be judged. I certainly would never pass judgment on how people meet their needs and desires -- whether with a spouse, a play partner or through fantasy. Married or single; virtually, in real life, or not at all; I say 'to each his own.' There is no place in these forums for criticism or judgment. Differing opinions are perfectly understandable and can lead to interesting and enlightening discussions; but HOW these opinions are expressed is important.

Well, none of us know your wife or any details of your marital relationship (nor am I asking for any here), so giving meaningful advice strikes me as pretty much impossible--except maybe in a very generalized manner.

Asking for a full-fledged FLDD ("female-led domestic discipline") relationship is quite different from asking your partner to simply spank you fairly soundly on occasion--perhaps you could convince her that accommodating you mildly like that wouldn't actually be "changing herself," it would merely be doing something important to him for the man she loves. Marriage does involve those types of accommodations, both non-sexual and sexual (vanilla and/or kinky), after all--possibly you could point out areas in which you've accommodated her desires, without changing who you are.

All of those internet accounts regarding wives/girlfriends who seemingly had no interest in (or even previous knowledge of, in some cases) spousal spanking, who then evolve quickly into dominating, no-nonsense, butt-blistering disciplinarians, I don't accept all of them at face value--many of them are fantasies, I'm figuring... --C.K.

Fair enough...I stand corrected.